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Thursday, March 5
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One night, one cold windy night, I was out about town, with The Boyfriend, trying to find a food court where we can eat, because we've always been eating at restaurants and getting kinda sick of it. And yeah, he wants to save money for holidays and all. And I was craving for some greasy food court fish and chips.
It was the 16th of February, a Monday evening.
We were at Plaza Singapura. Unfortunately, our plans to save money were thwarted. I suppose even the gods didn't allow us to eat some cheap and good local food. Because the food court was closed or under renovation or something. We wandered around the place, our stomachs growling.
We passed The Manhatten Fish Market, perfect place to satisfy my craving, but the queue was long as always. "Since you wanna eat fish, why don't we eat here?" The Boyfriend said.
"But the queue is so lonnnnggggg....by the time we get in I'd have died and rotted," I whined. My hungry stomach was making me damn cranky.
Next to Manhattan's was this Jap restaurant whose name I can't remember, although I have ate there before and I remember vaguely that their service sucks. "AH! Why don't we eat Japanese? Mmmm sashimi!" said The Boyfriend excitedly.
"But I don't feel like eating japanese..." I pouted and crossed my arms rather huffily. "I want my fish...!"
We pondered for like, three minutes outside the two restaurants and I said, "Why don't we eat at Secret Receipe?" I said pointing into the not-so-far-off distance.
"No," The Boyfriend said.
"Cafe Cartel?" I asked. Anything to stop this hunger pleaaaaassseee....
Thankfully, he said, "Ok!" rather happily, so we trooped down to Cafe Cartel where I satisfied my fish craving and he had his ribs.
And then, we just had to have our coffee. My previous addiction has returned, especially since he is an addict too. We had coffee at Starbucks, and dessert. We simply are just dessert people. Which I love.
And then, just when we were happily having our coffee and chocolate lava cake, my dad had to call. He asked me to fetch him, which I was gravely reluctant. I mean, we were happily poring through the Valentine's Day present which I gave him a few days ago. Plus he had to go back to the miserable camp later, so time was precious.
But I decided to be filial. Of course, The Boyfriend got jitters when he realised he was about to unofficially meet my dad. In the end, I had to send my DAD and his FRIEND home. His friend stays in Bedok Reservoir, which isn't freaking near nor far, but I was just pissed because I am always sending his friend home.
WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. LIKE DATING MY BOYFRIEND, FOR EXAMPLE. OR GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS.
And by the time the chauffeur finished her rounds, it was time for The Boyfriend to book into camp. I spent one hour driving around, and another 45 minutes driving to Sembawang. We wasted 2 precious hours which could have been spent talking about anything under the sun!
And my butt was aching from all that sitting and driving.
It was already 11.30pm, but The Boyfriend wanted to watch Indebted, which I had brought along to show him, and the MTV that Alex, Rachel, Eve and I did during the poly days. He has always been interested in media and intends to pursue it, unlike me.
By 11:50pm, I was ready to drive (again) to his camp to plonk him outside those gates - and see if I can catch any suave looking soldiers on the way - but he asked me a question, "How do you feel about spending the rest of your life with one guy from now on?"
"Er..." I said.
And he said something like, "Don't you feel afraid because you will be with me for many years to come?"
I shall fast forward our conversation and not put all the inside bits out here for all and sundry to see, but we ended up at this place, that all lovebirds who make out at the Sembawang carpark do not know of. It is a little clearing, by the main road, but shaded by big trees. It is relatively lit because of the streetlamps and the road.
We found it by accident.
We ended up there because we realised we were the only couple not making out in the carpark and we thought we were invading their privacy. And besides, we wanted a place we could talk (and when we talk we really talk) without the occasional police car peering into our car when we're not even guilty of anything.
And we fell asleep!
Needless to say, it was one of those nights where he didn't book into camp (again). And his officer is so cute, I'm sure he'll be let off the hook because cute people are relatively nicer than ugly people.
I remember I was extremely exhausted. I didn't have much sleep the previous night, plus all the heartfelt talking was making me even more tired because I was consuming too much brain power to say what I really feel. Although it's supposed to come from the heart, but the heart can't put into words what feelings are.
So anyway. I was so tired that although my sleep was interrupted by the many mosquitoes that kept attacking me, I couldn't wake up. I was just conscious enough to swat away the mosquito and scratch vigorously at the bites before I fell asleep again.
Needless to say The Boyfriend is perpetually always more tired than I am.
I remembered that I had switched off the engine, which explained why the doors were open and the mosquitoes were flying in.
When we awoke two hours later, it was about 3-ish.
AND MY CAR BATTERY WAS DEAD.
Like, how is that even freaking possible?? It should be fully charged after my 2 hour drive around Singapore, and it was turned off the whole time. Charging the radio wouldn't take up ALL its power for 2 hours!
And I know this because I know.
So now, we're stuck in a godforsaken ulu place, where we had to drive about 2 kilometres in from the ulu-but-still-better-than-this-place Sembawang Park carpark.
"AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! My battery is dead!!!! How???" I almost shrieked to The Boyfriend, who was still bleary from a deep sleep.
I try to start the engine many times but of course, it is dead.
My mind is furiously running by now, charged by the minimal nap I had.
Option 1) Find a car to jump start the battery. To do so, gotta walk down to the main road to find a car/cab.
Option 2) Call my father at 3:45am in the morning and brave a firing squad of questions such as, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SEMBAWANG AT THIS TIME?" and "HOW TO GET THERE?" (which I don't know how to tell him because it's so freaking ulu)
Option 3) Wait until daybreak then call a mechanic.
Obviously, Option 2 was OUT OF THE QUESTION. Option 3 too, because that would mean The Boyfriend would be screwed. Obviously he wasn't going to leave me with my dead car. All he said was, "Don't worry about me,"
Too scared to be touched, I merely walked round to the boot and flipped it open to find the cables for the battery, the jumpstart cables. After searching around for 1 minute, I suddenly many pricks on my foot and up my leg, not painful at first; and I merely brushed them angrily away.
But as I continued standing there searching for the cables, the pricks never stopped, and for a fleeting moment, I thought I was allergic to grass. I remember thinking, "So this is what it feels like to be allergic to grass,"
However, the pricks began to become unbearable, as there were more and more of them, and they never stopped. Finally, I looked down and shined the light from my handphone onto my foot, and saw dozens of ants crawling all over my leg, light and weightless, until they bit me.
I immediately hopped off the grass and began yelling, "ARRRRGGHH!!!! Ants!!!!!!!!!!! Save me Daniel!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very painfulllllllll............AND I CAN"T FUCKING SEE THEM BUT THEY"RE STILL FUCKING BITING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I was about to lose it. Standing there, on the pavement, I began frantically swiping the irritating ants off my legs, but they were everywhere! And I was bitten until my legs were numb, either from the slapping from my hands or from the numerous ant bites.
The Poor Boyfriend helped me swipe them away, as I continually screamed my lungs out. I remember him just silently sweeping them away, and telling me to relax. "Fucking ants!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.
Then, I shined the light from my phone onto the ground, and horrors of horrors, there was a LONG line of ants marching from the spot where I just stood, to the spot that I was standing at now! And marching around my feet, or across it, and biting me in the process, to god knows where.
I screamed again, more in frustration than fear, and ran off a few metres away, leaving The Poor Boyfriend searching for the cables in my car boot.
He didn't get bitten by ants because 1) He was wearing pants and covered shoes and 2) Since he knew where the ants were (since I was bitten first), he obviously didn't step near them.
So I was the sacrifice, the blood which the ants sucked.
(By the way I forced my mother to dig out my baby files to find out what's my blood type, so I wouldn't be clueless all my life, and I found out I'm A positive blood type!)
We decided to abandon the car and go and look for a car/cab. In order to do this, we were NOT going to walk the 2km out the winding roads which were darker than where we were, so we had to...
BASH THROUGH SOME TREES AND GRASS, DOWN A SLOPE, TO GET TO THE MAIN ROAD.
I was, by this time, reeling from the ants bites that I never wanted to step on grass ever again, but apparently it wasn't my fate.
I couldn't think of any way to get out of the situation - although asking My Poor Boyfriend to carry me down the slope was one idea but I quickly diminished that because he was already quite poor thing enough, and besides it was my car, I should find a solution - so I had to bash through the freaking grass which was freaking disgusting.
Normally I already hate walking through grass because I'm afraid I will step on some frog or snail or worse still, snake!
And now I had to be scared of ants' nests.
I didn't even whine. I do not think My Poor Boyfriend deserved that.
Anyway, after we reached the road, we still had to walk. There was NOT A CAR IN SIGHT! We were like, trapped in some warped timezone whereby nothing existed except both of us.
And I had happily thought that, after escaping the ant-infested ulu place, we would reach civilisation, which would mean people, or cars, but apparently no! We had stepped out of an ulu place, into an ulu place, which would mean we never really stepped out at all because in the first place, Sembawang IS an ulu place.
Of all the places for my car battery to die.
We walked for 45 minutes. I do not know how many kilometres that is, but it is ALOT of distance we covered. Road after road. The road signs went past, but still no car. And then, we saw a van! It was delivering newspapers. We hitched a ride, in the back of the van; we sat on top of newspapers that would probably be on somebody's breakfast table in a few hours.
The van dropped us off somewhere, but there still was no cab, so we continued walking. Like tired, thirsty hitch-hikers.
Finally, we reached semi-civilisation, whereby there were some cabs passing by. We flagged down many cabs and asked them if they had the cable to jump start the battery, but apparently they all do not.
In the end, we were so desperate for someone to save us, that we took the fifth cab that we flagged. "What, you mean you guys walked all this way? It's damn long you know!" The Indian cab driver said.
"Er..yeah..we know, but we had no choice," I muttered.
We reached our dead car, and My Poor Boyfriend tried looking for the cables again. Because I swore they were in there somewhere. It was rather difficult searching under almost no light, but I was NOT going to stand on the stupid grass and get bitten by nasty ants again to shine the light from my phone while he searched.
In the end he found the cable!
So, we attached the cables (positive to positive) to my dead battery and the cab's battery.
I tried to switch on my engine.
NOTHING FREAKING HAPPENED.
No sparks flew, NOTHING.
The cab uncle was rather helpful and nice, although he didn't know anything about jumpstarting a battery. In the end, after many many tries of him switching on and off his engine and me switching on and off my engine, we gave up.
He gave us the number to Comfort Delgro's 24-hr mechanic, and we called them. I paid the uncle $22 bucks for his time and he sent us to the not-so-ulu Sembawang carpark to wait for the mechanic.
Who came in 10 minutes instead of the half an hour the operator said, and we sat in his van. The Boyfriend actually nudged me away to go into the van first, which I thought was very unlike him, since he's always the one opening cab doors and ushering me into cabs (when I'm not driving).
Then I realised he didn't want me to sit next to the mechanic.
Which made me smile to myself. Then I immediately thought that yes, I AM losing it. Imagine noticing such a thing in such a time of distress!
The mechanic took out many devices, and attached them to my battery quickly (he stepped on the grass too but HE didn't get bitten by ants!). The devices can print out reports like a cashier machine, which is like freaking cool and I so wanna get one.
And my battery was healed!! It was revived.
And My Poor Boyfriend paid the mechanic $35 bucks cuz I had no more money.
The mechanic said my battery is very weak so I should not stop on the way home. Then I said, "Har, then traffic light how? ... I thought cannot switch off the engine only what,"
And the mechanic said, "Yah lah, cannot switch off the engine. Then tomorrow morning, you bring your car to your own mechanic to replace the battery or something,"
We drove away, leaving the mechanic with the ants. However, to our horror, there was a freaking mosquito in my car!!! And it's horrendously BIG and kept flying around and hiding in corners then suddenly appearing again.
The Boyfriend wanted to send me home and THEN take a cab back which I adamantly refused, because I could easily send him home and drive myself home! But he said, "What if your car dies on the way home?"
I refused to think about that.
So, I sent him to camp at 6ish, without even bothering to look for any cute soldiers because I was too tired and bitten half to death by ants.
The car didn't die, otherwise I would have another story to tell, and when I finally parked the car, I switched off its engine and re-started it.
It started fine!!
I left a pink Post-It for my dad, telling him his car died, showered (tried to scrub off the ants disgusting trail of invisible dirt left by their feet and mouths), and stumbled into bed.
When I woke up, I still had to go to the vet to buy Truffle's special food, and apparently my dad didn't read the Post-It although it was hot pink and probably stood out more than anything on our black piano!
In the end I called him and he asked me to bring it to the agent. So I drove (the car could still start) to the agent after the vet and they have the same device!
And there's nothing wrong with my battery.
Nothing wrong at all!!!!
I guess my car just can't stand the ants or something. Throwing a tantrum.
So that's that. Oh and my P-plate is coming off on Friday! No more road bullying for me, all you sickening OLD MEN who think you own the freaking road. All you stupid cab drivers. All you irritating road cutters.
I AM A FEMALE DRIVER WHO DRIVES LIKE A MALE, AND NOW EVERYONE SHALL BEWARE MY PROWESS, ONCE THE BLINDING ORANGE TRIANGE IS GONE.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:09:00 AM|
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