I was never a fan of Hello Kitty, until I went to Thailand two years ago and saw the faux Hello Kitty market, full of pink, ribbon-y, cute kitties, and suddenly it struck me.
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Hello Kitty is cute!
And I bought a Hello Kitty umbrella and after one day of careful thought (I actually went to the hotel and pondered over whether it was going to be a wise move to succumb to my inner child by buying Hello Kitty merchandise), I bought a Hello Kitty calculator.!
My Hello Kitty collection grew. Now, I have a huge Hello Kitty clock, a 2008 Hello Kitty calendar (which I used to check dates for my events, but I'll never let my clients know that), a Hello Kitty mousepad, the Hello Kitty calculator (which I use to calculate budgets for my clients), a Hello Kitty towel holder (given to me by Ho Wa with a matching Hello Kitty face towel), two Hello Kitty stick pads in my car, one Hello Kitty bling sticker which I stuck on my rearview mirror, a Hello Kitty water bottle, Hello Kitty keyboard stickers, a Hello Kitty key case, a Hello Kitty necklace, plenty of Hello Kitty stickers given to me by my students, a Hello Kitty jewel box also given by my student, and some Hello Kitty dolls which my mother bought during the Hello Kitty craze at Macdonald's (and I didn't even like Hello Kitty then), a book 'by Hello Kitty' on how to be creative given to me as a Christmas Present when I was very very young and I used to have a Hello Kitty mouse but Cadbury knocked it to the floor and it broke, and I was very upset with him for days and ignored him.
I read about the launch of Hello Kitty MAC cosmetics sometime last year, and was anticipating the launch this year. I tell you, the collection is awesome!
MAC tries to make Hello Kitty sexy and wild, but she still looks cute!
I know they have eyeshadows and blushers and brushes and lipsticks, but I don't really like the design on the casing. I will buy these though:
Hello Kitty Nail Laquer!
And Hello Kitty lipgloss!
MAC even has the bling collection.
I mean, Hello Kitty + bling is so my kinda thing. *drools*
So anyway, my beloved girlfriend Pamela texted me about the Hello Kitty MAC collection and says she's going to get some stuff too. YAY!
I can name plenty of people who want to puke at the point of time, because some people just don't like Hello Kitty because it is a childish, girly thing. Naming all the guys I know would probably take hours of my time. Amidst all the barf, I am just going to continue with my swoon fest.
I mean, if Hello Kitty really were so disgusting, then designers wouldn't be bothered to come up with Hello Kitty inspired outfits and put them on beautiful models right??
I don't know how come I've become so crazy over Hello Kitty at the age of 19, when I should've been crazy over her when I was 9. All my students love Hello Kitty too. I have a student who has a room FULL of Hello Kitty merchandise (because her mum loves Hello Kitty too!) and I just spend my two hours admiring all the Hello Kitties.
And teaching her, of course.
And of course, I get stuff like Hello Kitty stickers and jewel boxes from them. Share the love man!
Because my love for Hello Kitty is not blind, I have decided to get to know her a little better.
Although Hello Kitty was born in Japan, she isn't Japanese. She lives outside the surburbs of London with her father, George White; mother, Mary White; and twin sister, Mimmy White.
Other occupants of the White house include Bear, apparently a living teddy, and Moley, who pops up in the garden. And Hello Kitty's grandparents.
Mimmy White wears a yellow ribbon on her right ear; Hello Kitty wears a red ribbon on her left.
Hello Kitty was born on November 1st 1974. Which means she's a Scorpio! Since Truffle doesn't have a birthday yet, I shall christen Truffle to be born on the same date as Hello Kitty, since they are both white. Hello Kitty is merely a nickname; her real name is Kitty White.
Much has been made of Hello Kitty's mouth, or lack thereof. A handful of feminist scholars say her noncommunicative nature perpetuates the submissive female archetype, while others attribute Hello Kitty's appeal to her blank stare -- onto which fans can project their own emotions.
According to Hello Kitty's official bio on Sanrio's website, "Kitty is a cheerful, warm-hearted little girl. Baking cookies is her forte, but what she enjoys most is eating a slice of Mama's apple pie!" We also learn that her favorite things include candy, stars, and goldfish, as well as the inevitable "small, cute things."
Hello Kitty is in third grade. And forever will be in her world. She weighs the same as three apples and stands five apples tall. Her blood type is A. (Since I don't know my blood type, I hope it is the same as hers. My mother did say my blood type is either A or AB+! So there's hope)
Hello Kitty is now 35, and probably undergoing a mid-life crisis. Although in her world she remains a kitten, her Earthly reality continues to grow. In 1993, Sanrio introduced a boyfriend for her, named Dear Daniel. Dear Daniel was named after a character in the 1971 English film Melody. The two playmates rarely rendezvous, however, because Daniel is perpetually on African safari with his family (dad is a photographer).
I wonder how her relationship with Dear Daniel is like. I mean, they both don't have mouths how to communicate?!?
And I'm pretty sure Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel are married. At 35, Hello Kitty sure has been through many weddings with Dear Daniel.
Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel have a white wedding in Sanrio, Puroland.
Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel get married under a gazebo. Damn romantic lah!
Although it is said that they rarely rendezvous because Dear Daniel is in Africa, but it seems that they still make time for each other! It appears that they can afford to travel around the world, probably because Hello Kitty is the main breadwinner in their marriage, from all her product endorsements. The fake Hello Kitty market is worth $800 million you know!
Hello Kitty looks quite ugly in her above outfit, where she probably went to China during the Mooncake Festival. Must be because Dear Daniel decided he looks good in stripes and forced Hello Kitty to wear lovers' outfits with him.
Other members of her social circle include the teen bunny Kathy, brother and sister monkeys Timmy and Tammy, and boy puppy Jody.
In the above picture, Hello Kitty goes on an adventure with Mimmy and Dear Daniel, and their other friends whom I can't be bothered to know.
Hello Kitty's celeb fans include Christina Aguilera and Miley Cyrus, two people whom I adore at different levels. Looks like I have something in common with Christina, whom I love for her dedication and commitment to her career and not fucking up her life, and with whom I agree that the right man can indeed Save Me From Myself.
As for Miley, she's still so young, she can afford to like Hello Kitty without being slammed. And I hope she goes a long way although her voice sometimes sounds like a rat.
And although Britney Spears too, is a fan, I shall not admit to having anything in common with her. Kelly Osbourne and Lindsay Lohan too.
And I wish to laugh at all the guys who think Hello Kitty is stupid, because Steven Tyler is a fan! And P Diddy too!
Muahahahaha. HA.
Just today, I was out with Daniel, and I went gushing over some Hello Kitty doll that was on sale.
"Ooooh Hello Kitty!!" I swooned. "And Dear Daniel!!"
I tittered over to the dolls on their rack. They were getting married (again) in Chinese wedding costumes. Daniel picked up the Hello Kitty doll and pretended to admire it for like, one second.
Before punching Hello Kitty in her face.
"Stupid cat, looking so dumb, without a mouth. What cat doesn't have a mouth??!" He said.
My jaw dropped as I stared at him in shock and horror. "How can you punch Hello Kitty???" My voice rising with every word. "Why can't you punch Dear Daniel as well since he doesn't have a mouth too?"
"Well, because Dear Daniel has my name in it," Daniel said.
I began raining punches onto his biceps. "You unfair male chauvinist with your super big ego how can you punch Hello Kitty and not Dear Daniel when you shouldn't even be punching Hello Kitty not only because I like it but what if you damage the merchandise of the store --" he was yelping in pain and I felt his arm muscles tighten to lessen the blows which were relentless but since he's a diver he should be able to take it.
I then proceeded to wring his neck and sneak in some scratches with my super long fingernails until his face looked more red than ever and I felt that my fingernails were going to break. Obviously I didn't want to break my nails.
FYI, Hello Kitty, or Kitty White, is not a cat. She is in fact a girl.
Yes, I bet some out there are thinking that I've gone off my rocker or that I've let some stupid fictional cartoon character brainwash me as a result of utterly successful marketing.
But if they say Hello Kitty is a girl then she IS a girl. Although I don't know why she looks like a mouthless cat.
Some things I have in common with Hello Kitty are that we both love listening to music and reading, travelling (when my pocket is not dry or full of holes, unlike she, who has tons of money to have plenty of weddings not to mention worldly tours) and making new friends.
And most importantly, we both have boyfriends called Daniel. Who are not always available - her Dear Daniel is in an African safari with his photographer Dad (I've always wondered, if he was really always in an African safari then Dear Daniel should be brown in colour what!) and my dear Daniel is always diving deep down into the sea trying to look for bombs.
Both Daniels obviously have nothing in common. One of them doesn't even like Hello Kitty while the other adores her.
So I shall find a day to go get those limited edition Hello Kitty MAC cosmetics. Maybe I'll be so bowled over that I'll end up buying more than the nail polish and lipgloss.
Most girls are sighing over the fact that the MAC-Hello Kitty cosmetics were released only one day before Valentine's Day, giving their boyfriends little time to grab them for a Valentine's Day present, but I won't even bother to sigh about that.
I'm sure Daniel won't even go near any Hello Kitty merchandise or he might end up punching them. Woe is me.
