Monday, February 28
\\*Fuck Chinese*//
I am a Chinese.
I now feel so ashamed to admit that I am Chinese.
But things are not so bad, at least I dont hail directly from China. God, I so hate and detest those people.
I am from a Chinese school whereby China people are aplenty. Never have I detested them, but yes, dislike and bias was evident in me. But now, sadly I have to say that I really loathe them.
They top the schools and bring glory and honour to fame seeking principals, but their brain power is really so minimal and dilute.
It is evident here.
Animal Abuse!
I know the two words sound very cliche and people will go 'yeahhhh animal abuse I so know about it...what now?'
But the foxes and bears and everything that was skinned alive, got their paws brutally chopped off
wincing in utter pain and agony yet unable to utter a sound or fight back...
*wipes tears from my eyes*
even when their skin was torn off of their small bodies, they were unlucky enough to still be alive, to flinch in raw agony... their pitiful eyes begging to be spared...
I HATE CHINA PEOPLE.
sounds so childish.
But I really hate them. Their accent, their puny brains, their animalistic acts, their disgusting behaviour.
Why did I originate from CHINA. God.
the angels they burn inside for us|8:54:00 PM|
\\*Busy Saturday*//
First bloody stop.
School at 7:45am for breakfast talk by MDA's CEO and mingling with Media people. ZZZ. Who has the mood.
Second fun stop.
Home for sleep and study [as if i did]. 1pm -- 5pm
Third fun stop.
Remuz's party at Aranda Country Club Suite 2323 [buy 4D]. 6pm till 10 pm. [inclusive travelling time Serangoon to Pasir Ris is like, so Near.]
Fun. He has cute friends. I met my superbly funny NPCC Senior Lily. I met Remuz after years. They both commented how tall I've grown. Have I? I dont feel it. I love his cake. So humongous. Although Agnes kept wanting to leave I said I just wanted to have the CAKE and she was like "MAXINE ANG I"LL BUY YOU YOUR 21st BIRTHDAY CAKE LAH BIGGER THAN THIS. FASTER GOOOOOO..." and I was like, "REALLY! YOU SAY ONE AH" and she went, "YAH I BUY YOU PAY,"
-.-"
Fourth fun stop.
Weilun's house to await the other people namely Julien Melissa Ah Pek Ricky who were LANNING AT THOMSON AND WE WAITED A BLOODY dunno, TWO HOURS? 1130pm till 0145am.
Fifth fun [but somewhat sleepy] stop.
Some huge space at Serangoon Ave 4 where we gathered illegally.
Total headcount:
Julien
Weilun
Alvin
Desmond
Ricky
Fionette
Jean
Algin/Algene/dunno how to spell
some guy who I forgot his name
Melissa
Hakim
Ina
Agnes
Rudy
Adrian
Wan
and ME
they had beer and Jim Beam and later some other alcohol that Julien bought after disappearing for about one hour plus
Jim Beam burned my throat.
Weilun puked.
I tried frenching with a girl for the first time in my entire life. And there were four to do.
And Agnes is one of them. All thanks to Hakim. He started the whole bloody game. And I think he has lesbian fantasies. =X
And I have the exclusive video. Of the entire process. Which ended comically with Ricky running away with my camera pointing to the ground and going, "DONT CHASE ME! DON"T CHASE ME EH MY PANTS DROPPING ALREADY LAH!"
It's nice hanging with them.
I shall now just post all the pictures-- cuz they'll speak louder than I do.
But before that.
Agnes's father is called Francis. So is her uncle. So is her another uncle. Her aunties married men called Francis. Her cousins are Florence, Fiona and Felicia.
So why is Agnes is only cousin not named with a name started with F?
I had a small, early morning discussion with her at 5:15am in the morning after our illegal gathering. I told her she should be called Fagnes then.
Or Francine. And I said these exact words:
"Imagine if Weilun they all intro us to other friends of theirs-- 'this is Maxine and this is Francine',"
And she said,
"We're the Sinfuls,"
Imagine if we're really called Maxine and Francine.
Although I stopped imagining long enough to go to sleep after she left my home at 6am, and then study for ICA on Media Financial *cough* Management, here is our chat on MSN.
dying of tb says:oh ya
dying of tb says:my name is franscine
dying of tb says:how to spell?
dying of tb says: francine
dying of tb says:which 1 nicer
dying of tb says:lol
i feel like a photograph server says:francine
i feel like a photograph server. says:as in francine pacal
i feel like a photograph server. says:pascal
i feel like a photograph server. says:writer of Sweet Valley High series
i feel like a photograph server. says:please credit ME!!!!!!!
*agnes changes nick here*
francine says:yes
francine says:i m here
francine says:i shd be franXine lah
francine says:LOL~
i feel like a photograph server. says:WAHAHHAHAHAHHA
i feel like a photograph server. says:EH good one
francine lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:lol
i feel like a photograph server. says:hahahahhaha COOL.
FRANXINE lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:what
FRANXINE lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:lol~~~
FRANXINE lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:FRANXINE FIKAELEIA
FRANXINE lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:LOL!!!!
i feel like a photograph server.says:WHAT!!!!!
i feel like a photograph server. says:u IDIOT!
FRANXINE lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:lol~~
i feel like a photograph server. says:u are agnes franxine ho hui xian, middle name chosen by good friend maxine mikaeleia ang qian ting, in memory of all XINES.
i feel like a photograph server. says:sorry.
i feel like a photograph server. says:u are agnes franxine ho hui xian, middle name chosen by good friend maxine mikaeleia ang qian ting, modified by agnes herself, in memory of all XINES.
FRANXINE lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:HAHA~~
FRANXINE lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:SINFULS!
i feel like a photograph server. says:hahahahahhahahhaha
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:LOL~
i feel like a photograph server. says:i shall change my nick too
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:maxine the sinful ~
MAXINE THE SINFUL i feel like a photograph server says:ta da.
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:lol
MAXINE THE SINFUL i feel like a photograph server says:eeeeeeeeee
MAXINE THE SINFUL i feel like a photograph server. says:so niceeeeeeeeeee
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:lol
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:what lah
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:u're the MA
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:and i'm the FRAN
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:haha
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:U'RE MAH FREN!!!!!!!
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:MA FRAN~
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:OMG
MAXINE THE SINFUL i feel like a photograph server. says:WAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:this is getting outta hand
MAXINE THE SINFUL i feel like a photograph server. says:we're so pei.
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:LOL
MAXINE THE SINFUL i feel like a photograph server. says:/me gives seductive smile
FRANXINE THE SINFUL lol. fuck it i'm dying of tb! says:mah fren~
Wah I am so tired.
My mum emerges from her bedroom.
"Max, go sleep,"
"kkayyyy"
She goes toilet.
"Max, what time already ah?"
"Two plus"
She toddles around the kitchen.
And comes out.
"EH WHAT TIME ALREADY AH STILL DOWAN SLEEP. IF YOU STILL DOWAN SLEEP I PUT CURFEW ON YOU AND YOU WILL BE IN BED AT 12 I TELL YOU AH"
zzzzzzzzz.
Dear Mum,
I would gladly be in bed if not for massive sending of photographs to various friends such as..
I am too tired to name them.
I also need to update my blog.
I also need to post pictures.
Too many things to do u know.
Okay. Goodnite mum. Thanks for yelling in a whisper [god knows how u do that] at me.
LOVE YA!!
A special request from Remuz to upload a picture without flash taken at his party, because the one with flash was horrendous, but which I had already posted.
"The blurrer the better"
-Remuz
I wish I could put the flashless picture here. But somehow, photobucket doesn't wanna host it for me and I'm too lazy to host it on Hello so...*shrugs*
-pictures-
the angels they burn inside for us|3:09:00 AM|
\\**//
the day starts with me waking up at 7:24am when I'm supposed to be in school by 7:45. I reached school by 8am. Nicely made up, gained a few "wows" by classmates when I appeared professionally in a blazer haphazardly thrown on on my way out of the house, and kudos to my makeup skills. Done in the cabbbb.I thought I forgot my eyeshadow so I used my lipstick on my eyes to brighten them and not look so tired. But eyebags are SO obvious. which no amount of concealer can conceal. =( 
the angels they burn inside for us|1:46:00 AM|
\\**//
and i'm applying shadow while slacking in remus's suite room. actually, just posing.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:43:00 AM|
\\**//
this is our artistic shot. it looks so.. romantique. Goth in a way. so..Lesbiany. the plastic cups spoil it all.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:41:00 AM|
\\**//
this is my NPCC senior Lily. happened to be her birthday too! and she recognised me. and kept saying how i grow to be so tall when last time i'm shorter than her. [har last time in sec 1 i got so short mah?.] OMG she like totally changed so much CAN. but her sense of wacked humour is still THERE. she made me laugh harder than anyone could. thanks for the tummy toning session.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:38:00 AM|
\\**//
ending pic at Remus's chalet. he looks evil while i just look bad.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:23:00 AM|
\\**//
agnes and me on the train BACK to serangoon from pasir ris. look at the NETS on our heads! OMG.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:16:00 AM|
\\**//
the Boy Choir impersonating Hitler. got 2 more at the side uncaptured by camera.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:09:00 AM|
\\**//
i LOVE ina's specs. it's so fitting!! dont i look so nerdily professional in my seemingly nightgown top.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:58:00 AM|
\\**//
close up of wild guys. Adrian. Mr Red Shirt is DAMN innocent and naive and ignorant and...it totals up to CUTE in a small boy way. God. really nv met a guy like him. Sooo... adorable.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:51:00 AM|
\\**//
HOHO. all the guys. minus Julien and ah pek. and alvin. cuz they went to get more drinks.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:48:00 AM|
\\**//
wooo. meng nan.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:45:00 AM|
\\**//
Eww. HAKIM.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:43:00 AM|
\\**//
Double Eww.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:41:00 AM|
\\**//
finally a nice one with no boxer butt or hairy belly.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:39:00 AM|
\\**//
I was busy taking pictures with my newly acquainted friends. Ricky. Jean. Fionette. [Algine/Algene/dunno how to spell anddd...omg i forgot the other guy's name. =X -- both not in picture]
the angels they burn inside for us|12:37:00 AM|
\\**//
...while agnes and ina and wan and adrian were playing daidee and algene/algine/dunno how to spell was just fooling around.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:15:00 AM|
\\**//
Worried Mother cradling Sick Son. a picture of deep anxiety and anxiousness.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:13:00 AM|
\\**//
Ricky. Cute.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:10:00 AM|
\\**//
Alvin and meee... Vocalist of Rough Cast. Alvin. Not Me.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:04:00 AM|
\\**//
THE GIRLS. Fionette. Jean. [whom I just knew that night--Desmond and Ricky's friends] Melissa. Ina. Myself. Agnes.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:02:00 AM|
+ + + + +
Sunday, February 27
\\**//
hoho. needs pratice at being self obsessed! there's like 3 other girls who wanted to be in the piccc... and one eye of mine is GONE. yipee.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:56:00 PM|
\\**//
group shot. taken byyy..who's missing? oh Desmond. yeah.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:54:00 PM|
\\**//
Hakim and Ina being all PDA and fun as usualllll
the angels they burn inside for us|11:49:00 PM|
\\**//
desmond wanted all the girls to pose with him but apparentlyyyy.... wish not granted.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:46:00 PM|
\\**//
agnes's new band-- no name yet -- minus one member. Algine [unsure of spelling of unique name] as vocalist, ricky as drummer, wan as guitarist and agnes as bassist.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:44:00 PM|
\\**//
STONED.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:41:00 PM|
\\**//
I AM AT WEILUN'S HOUSE NOW. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE HERE SUCH AS
HAKIM
INA
AGNES
WAN
ADRIAN
DESMOND
ALVIN
WE ARE AWAITING
JULIEN
AH PEK
RICKY
MELISSA
GOSH THEY ARE SO LATE. LATE TILL I HAVE TO RESORT TO THIS BORING ACTIVITY OF TYPING IN CAPS AND COLOURING EVERYONE'S NAMES.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO SLEEPY. SO TIRED. BUT SINCE AGNES ACCOMPANIED ME TO REMUZ'S 21ST BIRTHDAY BASH AT HIS CHALET SUITE I HAVE TO ACCOMPANY HER TO AH LUN'S HOUSE.
IT WAS QUITE OK. I SAW LILY!! OMG SHE'S SO CHANGED. SO HILARIOUS. AND I SAW ALOT OF PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I AM GOING OUT NOW.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:04:00 AM|
+ + + + +
Friday, February 25
\\*B is for the bumble in the bee.it is also for Ben & Jerry's son*//
I stumbled across a potential attractor of my senses in Friendster.
I ruffled through his testimonials to gauge the type of guy he is.
The first impression he gave me was something like, 'this is me. I am quiet, I do my thing. I might have a girlfriend somewhere. I look blur but I might not be as blur as you think. I am shy."
The testimonials went along the lines of
...is the cutest most good looking chinese guy i have ever met...haHa. =) He looks quiet, but looks can be deceiving.lolx.He's friendly, he's nice, he's cute, he's a gentlemen, he's good looking, let's see..oh did i mention he's vain? haha. will be a good catch for girls..
...this guy is cool, handsome,always in fashion. he is sporty,good in soccer, i mean very good, my team captain, and he got a machoz body. He Is A Mr NiCe gUy + a super yandao kia and definitely a good Bf....He Is loyal and emotional at times....
...is yan dao sportive n has great ways 2 deal with GAL. Know 4 his soccer Skills...izzit? Gd la..gD la but 2 mi i tink tat ... is gd in gambling arEa.. really!! if u happen 2 go out wif him... notice tat he everytime receive calls on BEt la n liability!
he's a pretty charmin guy and wif tt boyish look,sometimes u can just simply fall for it.a funny guy also,especially his cold jokes.
he's a eye-catching machine to gurls man! Almost every gurl in sec sch were like, that suai guy. Haahaa! cont to be suai and do study hard!
..... i've to say his's e most charming guy in my class... besides havin a boyish cute looking face... his has a good personality also which is a plus point for gers to fall in love with him.
To me, he is an all-rounder, who excel in all sports, go in studying and is fore is gambling!!!! always wiv surprise... He treats ppl well, especially wiv GALS!!!!! haha... tok cock... He oso attracts alot of girls' attention,
This dude here is blessed with the best things in life, a charming personality, nice bod, and the kind the ladies would fall over their high heels to date.... He always put on that cheeky smile and makes chatting with him comfortable.
where do i begin for this nutter? hmm.. he is HOT!!!! hahaha... with that grin that will make anyone melt..
*some words have been deleted or changed from the original testimonial because of spelling errors. all names have been removed.
How come is it that his character traits as said from his friends seem to remind me of a certain someone whom I definitely DO NOT want to be reminded of?
Especially the gambling and smoking part.
That put aside, I would like to comment that I decided not to get my senses get attracted by this male species.
Simply because I do not like to be attracted by guys who attract all the girls.
Gentlemanly, cute, melty grin, boyish face... so like Mu Tou Ming. So like what I want.
But I just cannot let myself get too into this person because... he is too wanted and he knows that he's good looking, thats for sure.
Cupid puts down his arrow slowly, looking at his targets with one final glance before flying away.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:35:00 AM|
+ + + + +
Wednesday, February 23
\\**//
Since I am such a creative person, as well as narcissistic, I have self-composed a song.
Aren't I a total...genius?
To be sung to the tune of "B-I-N-G-O"
there was a woman [who] had a daughter name was
K-E-L-L-Y
*B-I-M-BO
B-I-M-B-O
B-I-M-B-O
oh Kelly's such a bimbo!
Oh such a happy song.
Since I am in a happy and creative mood, and since my bladder is bursting from not visiting the toilet after like, a long duration of like, 15 minutes, and since I have time on my fingers, I shall blog out my continuing series of
Embarrassing Incidents that Happened To Me Series #3? [or was it #4. or even #5, maybe?]
Yesterday, I was also in a cheery mood, despite all the bogging, humongous ICAs that have descended upon my meaty shoulders.
At Kelly's [B-I-M-B-O!] request for a group shot of Yiting and Eve and me, I happily obliged. It is quite rare for me to oblige to people's requests of taking my narcissist face in their photos. It is as rare as me criticising Kelly [B-I-M-B-O!] of her hygienic habits.
*I just found out that she does not sit on the toilet bowl while doing her small business! Maybe she does it man-style.
So anyway, Syazwan was preparing to take the photo of us, and he was standing in front of me.
I was about to sit down on the chair [but I did not notice that it was slightly propped against the table behind] and in a split second, I sat down, but
WHOOOOSH!!!
My butt landed on the floor instead and [according to Kelly {B-I-M-BO!}] the back of my head hit the front of the table behind me.
IT was all a flurry of motion, in which I saw the white of my pretty underwear, because I was wearing a skirt that flew up as I was falling.
No one laughed, except me. It was all so funny because the fall did not hurt one bit.
I was just afraid that Syazwan [who was still standing in front of me] had seen my underwear.
I looked up and saw 3 curious pairs of eyes belonging to Khairiyah, Jiali and Loolin, looking in from outside through the glass panel of the tutorial room door.
"I saw your underwear you know. It's white! And I heard a vibration so we all were like, 'OMG what happened?' and we saw u sitting on the floor. You must have fell hard hor,"
Loolin said.
Thanks. My underwear is white with printed words all over it in black and red like the fonts on a newspaper artice. It is actually quite interesting but I dont have the shame to post it up on the web. HOHOHO.
And Kelly [she's sitting next to me now and saw me typing the B-I-M-B-O next to her name and I asked her if she minded but she said no but I said if you really mind you must tell me and I'll stop typing B-I-M-B-O next to your name and so she said yes I mind and so I said ok then I will stop typing B-I-M-B-O next to your name but I won't erase the previous B-I-M-B-Os so I now will stop typing B-I-M-B-O next to Kelly's name] helped me up and rubbed the back of my head and said I'd hit it but I said I felt nothing!
Not even my butt hurts.
And Keith said, "THe butt has most flesh on it so it will cushion your fall,"
He seems like a butt-expert.
And I begin to realise that YES! The Curse is befalling upon MS0401 IN NYP's Media Studies and Management!
According to gurus of The Curse, Sharifah Wardah and Farhanah Nordin, the pioneer class MS0401 of Media Studies is destined to fall in tutorial rooms or anywhere in NYP campus, as long as the student is a student of MS0401!
So far, The Curse has been making its way through about one quarter [or less] of the class!
a) Kevin -- he fell with a loud bang in Orientation.
b) Jia Li -- she fell alot of times from the slippery chair in tutorial
c) Syazwan -- he fell down the slippery stairs of NYP during a wet day
d) Arshad Anonymous -- I am not supposed to reveal the victim because he requested privacy that his fall should not go out of the class? But his fall was the worse and scariest because he lay sprawled on the floor for a few moments. He was a projecter switcher-on.
e) ME.
f) Keith. Projector switcher-on causes falls.
Ok I really must rush to the toilet now and to meet Agnes cuz I'm late and yeah my bladder is bursting.
the angels they burn inside for us|2:50:00 PM|
+ + + + +
Tuesday, February 22
\\**//
Quote of the Day, by Genius Li Hui:
"Wah, my school seems to be falling apart"
Today was really a manic Monday.
All the computer labs were in full utility. All the free access comp labs at Level 5 looked more like canteens than research labs.
E Plaza was FULL. At this point, I was like, "what's with everybody?"
Level One comp Lab was even worse. Disaster area with spoilt comps everywhere, students in groups huddled over one comp, NO CHAIRS [so sit on CPU] and kinda noisy.
I was getting claustrophobic but managed to finish editing the final report of the IP proposal. So went to print.
for the second time today, I had to queue for at least 10 minutes. The lao hiao aunties were at least not so slow today but I was in a damn bitchy mood so I kept criticising them outside saying that they're forever so slow and act young and all students will surely get a cinch of their gossip of whose kids never go school, what's their dinner plan, where got sale...
When the students are rushing for time already could they please hurry up.
In their dainty skirts with high platforms or hot pants.
Like, EEEWWW?
For the third time in a day I had to queue outside the printing store for the final printing and binding of the proposal. I was already getting kinda vomit-y and faint-y; the crowd and noise and heat was getting to me. I felt dizzy and stressed up because the page numbers were not running in order as the content page, the Gunbound logos wouldnt appear when printed, the girl at the computer in the printing shop just wouldnt hurry up.
Khairiyah descended from heaven and made everything alright.
She was calm, a proposal pro, calmed me down, made the Gunbound logo appear, and finally was waiting for it to be binded when she realised her wallet wasn't with her.
The claustrophobic feeling [although unnecessarily claustrophobia] came back, the dizziness came back, the vomit-y feeling came back. I had to go out of the squeezy printing shop and call Kelly to bring her wallet which was in the lecture theatre.
And Yes We Had To Skip Lessons For Printing.
Like Some Freaky War Zone Where Paper Was SBM'S Food Rationing.
Where Proposals Were Due To Be Sent For Sacrifice.
Anyway. As I turned. The two seconds in which I turned...
I saw Mr J.
And I almost fainted.
He, in all his 1.85m or above glory, stood there, behind me, glowing as the sun set behind him.
Oh it was just his white shirt.
Khairiyah did not notice my plight, but I still had to get her wallet so I had to walk past Mr J.
Although I do not fathom that he's from SBM, I do not know why he is using SBM's printing facilities.
Although I do not anymore have any good liking for him [because I think he's stand offish or maybe cause he's too popular] but I still felt like fainting.
It must've been the vomit-y dizzy claustrophobic feeling. I swear 80% of SBM was editing their projects and getting them printed today.
Bleah and I came home to sleep. I almost fell asleep while walking home.
I slept till 8pm, watched TV till 10pm, and finally started Raphael's 1200 word report.
Final word count was at 1199.
I finished his ICA in about one and a half hours, partly because I had no mood to do stuff, partly because I am tired and there's filming tml at like EIGHT AM!?!!!?
What the hell.
I'm confirmed going to be late.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:37:00 AM|
+ + + + +
Sunday, February 20
\\**//
I am getting quite confused. I must list out all the stuff to do in the next week. February has been quite a busy month with plenty of appointments:
11th February
9 Jie Mei Reunion Dinner
14th February
Valentine's Day
17th February
Alvin's Reunion Dinner with Rough Cast
22nd February; Tuesday
Filming of Psychologist in the morning @ 9am.
23rd February; Wednesday
-Interview with National Silat Champion Mhd Imran Abdul Rahman [his name is so nice to type so long] at 3pm
-Make-Up Artiste at 5 or 6pm
-Meeting with Garlic Girls for dinner after 7pm
24th February; Thursday [fahmy birthday]
Go to Orchard Heeren's NYDC for part time job interview at Des's recommendation with Agnes
around 1 to 4pm
25th February; Friday
if nothing goes wrong, party at Clarke Quay's Gotham Penthouse with Isk, Fahmy, Pamela and some other girls I hope. Who wants to come? -time unconfirmed-
26th February; Saturday
Remuz's 21st Birthday Party at Aranda Clubhouse, Suite 2323. I gotta squeeze in some time to get him something.
Today afternoon, I awoke at 13:33pm and received an SMS.
"I see you're still bothered by my nick the other nite tat you even got your sister to msg me on msn to tell me that you're prettier than my gf.or was it you. Ridiculous. is Mr Anthony Ang going to call me next to scold me in order to protect his precious daughter?"
Yes. It was The Childish One.
"Huh?what sister?eh it's her MSN lor how I sign in. And I just woke up lor how I know what she's doing. Siao ah"
Si bei guai lan.
He's getting on my nerves now.
The sickening asshole didn't even have the guts to reply. Or maybe he was spending the day with his pretty girlfriend, so cannot reply the EX lah... why, got something to hide from her is it?
of course.
Wah call me ridiculous some more. As though I have so much time and effort to go and be bothered by you and your pretty girlfriend.
My sister Claudia Ang Hui Lin has her own MSN and she can msg him has well as she pleases. Whatever she says has got nothing to do with me because I have now nothing to do with him. What the hell is he blaming me for what she says?
By which I would like to hereby thank Ms Claudia Ang Hui Lin aka my youngest sister for standing up for me. I know she likes to see her name being mentioned in my blog for reasons which I am clueless of.
Claudia Ang Hui Lin has done a brave deed of standing up to someone her senior of.. *counts using fingers* 7 or 8 years for.. *sobS* her sister!!
Wan sui wan sui, wan wan sui.
ok that's lame.
But I just wanna say... all girls should learn how to stand up for themselves. Breaking up with him was probably the best thing that happened to me. Otherwise...I wouldn't have known what an idiot he was--although I probably knew when I was still in the rship with him but was too blind to see. Now I can only feel sad for his girl.
All girls should know how to handle guys like this one. They think they can walk all over you with their hurtful words and callous remarks, but girls have to be smarter and stronger than verbal abuse to know how to fight it off and walk away smiling.
At least he's taught me a few valuable things throughout all our arguments.
Oh yes. I have just found out yet another super childish thing/mannerism about my beloved ex.
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:u noe wat? i appear to haf received some kind of hate mail msg from ur ex
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:in irc
narcissist says:har!?
narcissist says:when?
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:under another nick....
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:some time ago
narcissist says:lol
narcissist says:what nick and what msg?
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:i tink he tot im stupid or something
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:i cant quite remember but judging by the fact tat he kept repeating the same thing over n over (vulgarities at tat)... i was getting bored
narcissist says:WAH!
narcissist says:faints.
narcissist says:but i wasnt online right?
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:probably not
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:tat was sooo long ago liao
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:but i remember
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:always wanted 2 noe hu the person was
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:now i appear 2 haf a clue
narcissist says:how u know it's my ex? lollll
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:well lets just say tat i noe the way IRC works better than most do
narcissist says:wah
narcissist says:then how did u guess?
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:err i didnt guess.. i knew hu it was
narcissist says:how u know?
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:trade secret
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:shhhh
narcissist says:wah..
narcissist says:so u knew it was him?
narcissist says:why didnt u tell me?
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:haha hw in the world was i supposed 2 noe he was ur ex???
narcissist says:so u knew his name?
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:i dunno his name
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:just his nick
E[t]eRnaL - Wow! That was a bowl of wantan mee with chilli fortified with capsaicin!!! says:presumably the same 1 as u haf mentioned
narcissist says:wah.
narcissist says:faints.
E[t]eRnaL - Yay! Got anther mozzie!!! says:yea
E[t]eRnaL - Yay! Got anther mozzie!!! says:so err.. yea just so u noe
Eternal is my friend [best NS man!!] Remus. I remember vaguely having a HUGE argument with Josy over him-- it was the beginning of the possessive relationship. He started forbidding me to see any of my male friends, or even chat to them online, or even SMS them. *ominous tune starts*
That is why in the end I got so lazy to even use the Internet. I cant believe I gave in to him!!!
And I cant believe that he actually went to scold Remuz
OK actually I can.
He went to scold Jun Xiang also lor!! Like WTH. I remember he used my handphone to take Jun Xiang's number and went to SMS him -- to my displeasure-- cuz JX used to be quite close to me and the Ex bu shuang!! OMG.
I should've just broken up with him then.
Or when he scolded me for meeting Remus and another guy friend with some other girl for dinner once. I remember arguing with him heatedly over this one at the beginning of our relationship.
Looking back, it's really what the...how could i....?
I will NEVER EVER give in so foolishly and blindly to ANY guy.
Seriously, I don't really trusts guys now. I thought my ex [back then] was the most loyal male on earth and that he really loved me.
But now *makes me sick face* I see him for what he really is. A cheater. A liar [but not to me]. Not even a friend.
He makes me distrust males. Too bad for all males I know after my beloved ex. It will really take a lot for me to get over the platonic boundary with them I guess.
GEE. He actually went to scold Remuz over IRC. I wonder how many others of my guy friends he has scolded behind my back already. One mroe point to note: He did not even tell me a single thing about the scoldings he did. Apart from the Junxiang one which was done in front of my face.
I'm so sorry.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:19:00 PM|
\\*ex thrashing continues*//
Although it may seem to other people that I am still hung up over my ex for being bothered to blog so much about him, truth is-- I am not.
And I am not in self-denial when I say this, because I find him childish and number two, I very heavily regret my decision to have spent a substantiative amount of my life with this arse. And to leave a perfectly nice boy!
Anyway. After the supposedly offending testimonial I wrote for him [which he sensitively rejected of course] , I saw him on MSN.
On MSN, little windows will pop up at the below right hand corner whenever someone in the contact list has signed in. [ like people dont know but anyway ]
So my beloved ex kept signing in and signing out and of course I click away the irritating boxes-- but not before I notice his nick!
`ultIma^-- [she's just so much better than you -- looks, attitude, character, personality, everything! ]
LOL. How do I know he's talking about me? Obviously. Because I happened to trample on his fragile ego just the night before MAH. And the angry, childish one is still harping over it, and he just MUST get the upper hand in arguments.
When I saw the above nick, I scrutinised it carefully, while sniggering under my breath. For Mr Childish Ego has just made a HUGE flaw.
Comparing the EX to the current BEAU.
*shakes head in a depressing way*
That is a BIG No-no in ALL relationships! Imagine if my boyfriend were to compare me with his ex! Aiyo, secretly somemore.
After awhile, the little windows stopped popping up.
About half an hour later, my beloved ex started popping up again, at the bottom right hand corner of my screen, this time with a different nick:
`ultIma^-- [joy fills me with so much joy... all the way to the MAX pt!] gd nite all
As anyone will have guessed, his girl of his life's name is JOYCELYN, thus Joy. I so can see the capitalised MAX!
What's this? Another comparison? Seriously, this isn't a social studies case study between what, Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka and some peace loving country like... Singapore? Or Switzerland [which so isn't peace loving].
Comparing again! I feel pity for his girlfriend. Who is he trying to convince? What is he trying to prove? That I am worse than his current girlfriend?
*whispers*
I think he's trying to convince himself.
THUS the repeated signing in and out! Which I suspect is a series of blocks and unblocks.
*chortles*
Pathetic.
I wanted to suan him so much that I couldn't wait for him to get online again, so I SMSed him.
"HI! I hope you didn't block me on MSN cuz I wanted to compliment you on your nick. Cuz it's like, so creative?"
And he replied, "Don't worry I won't block you. What about my nick? I'm going online soon"
And he came online, but the creative nicks were all gone! Only got the "Ultima", which vaguely reminds me of "Fatimah" and until now I still don't know what his nick means.
And so I msged him of course.
I said, "HELLO!"
And he said, "yes ?"
Undeterred to his cold reply, I said, "you change nick already,"
And he said, "ya"
STILL undeterred, I said, "I just wanted to tell you how creative it is. I mean, it incoporates both our names in it!"
And he said, warily, "what are you trying to say?"
I said, breezily, "nothing, just feel so happy for both of you that you've found someone who's better than me in terms of looks, attitude, character and personality, that's all,"
And he said, "I think you're over sensitive,"
*peng* what does sensitivity gotta do with this.
So I said, "huh? y?"
And he said, "I dunno why, just think so,"
-.-"
hello, if there's no concrete evidence on the opinion that you think i'm over sensitive then why the hell are u saying that I'm over sensitive?
I said, falsely cheery but truly bitchy, "oh... okayyy...hmmm...but I don't think so,"
almost added 'i'm not the one who tries to get the ex's attention by signing in and out to flaunt the nick, honey,'
And he said, "whatever, anything else?"
And I said, falsely hurt but truly gleeful, for I knew I'd trampled on his darn ego again with subtle sarcasm and pointed words, "huh, must have reason to chat with you meh? Last time we also always chatted what,"
Then, "Don't tell me you're still harping over the testimonial thing?? LOLSSSS"
And he said, "don't know. Maybe there's a reason,"
I know you just wanna say how much you hate me, but you wanna be the good guy and you know you don't wanna get into argument with me cuz you know I have control over you and your relationship with her lies in my hands solely because of one simple reason.
But I merely replied, "Oh...what reason?"
He said, "don't know,"
and I pasted this for him to see, Discover what a guy's hobbies tell about him!
Just some articles which I thought applied to him: namely
A sports junkie
Yes, there's some truth to the whole sports widow myth. But that's only half the story. "Whether he's a player or fan, these guys are social and easy to reach emotionally," says Schwartz. They're team players by nature, and men who are OK with slapping each other on the butt are generally comfortable showing affection. Another bonus is that these sorts often use watching or playing as a way to vent excess aggression. Bottom line? Tough guys on the field, teddy bears on the sidelines.
A gambling man
"He can be a lot of fun -- if his proclivity for gambling is kept in check," says Kerner, who notes that the going-for-broke guy's spontaneity and risk-taking can keep the relationship exciting. "The gambler is sexy because he has bad-boy appeal," says Wachs. That said, he may be prone to gamble outside of the tables, too. "He might have an inclination to cheat since he likes to live on the edge," she says. And that's one trait that's never worth betting on.
And he said, "Why you showing me this? So long, you summarise for me"
And I said, "cannot show you meh? Just showing only what. You don't know I always talk crap mah?"
And summarised some for him.
NOW you need me to summarise for you. I tell you, I'll never forget the day you said being good in English is no use -- if I go JC sure die, even if I wanna go poly will also need to use math.
And you said being good in Math is much better cuz you can choose more courses. And how you so did not want to choose Business because it's so useless and mostly common sense and anyone who wanna set up a business don't need to diploma in Business to do that. And your chauvinistic view that 'girls go poly surely choose business one lor, if not then choose what,'.
What course are you in now? Business right.
After awhile I got sick of chatting to him.
I realise that this feeling is the same as when we were in a relationship and were having daily quarrels. I realise now that it is some kinda underlying irritant that he was to me back then.
That is why I don't really trust guys?
Don't wanna fall for the wrong kind and make another huge mistake again.
Songs to play:
Case of the Ex by Mya
Truth Is by Fantasia
Truth Is...
I really should've let you go
Truth Is...
You are such a sick bastard
Truth Is...
I truly regret time wasted on you
Truth Is...
Happy cruising and loving the new girl
Truth Is...
Hope she doesnt detest you like I do
the angels they burn inside for us|12:21:00 AM|
+ + + + +
Friday, February 18
\\**//
I absolutely dont know what to say about guys like my ex.
I know I know. This is another ex-y blog entry. But he made me quite MAD yesterday night!!
There I was, at Alvin's house with Agnes awaiting the other Rough Cast members and their respective girlfriends to arrive for steamboat dinner [and ang pao hohoho] so I went onto Friendster and chanced upon my beloved ex.
In his friendster profile, there were 10 pictures, all of which were him and his current beau celebrating valentine's day on a boat and such. Two of them were similar pics in which I and him have taken before in similar poses because we went on the same boat before with my family-- and the most romantic places on a boat? can only be those few.
I added a testimonial for him with Agnes's help-- and I have to admit that I was sarcastic and a tad mean . Cant really remember what I wrote but it went something like be more creative with the places you bring the girl of your life to OK? -- cuz under one of his pictures was the caption 'the girl of my life'
Oh yah and I commented on how nice his eyebrows were--like a girl, and like he plucked it.
Of course, his eyebrows were never tampered with and it was like that since we were going out.
AND THEN
Mr Ego smsed me asking me, "eh what you mean by adding that testi for me ah?" bla bla bla.
It felt like back in those days when we used to spend almost everyday quarrelling and wasting SMS. The tone SAME leh.
I replied, 'no offence, but you know I always talk like that one what. If you're offended then I apologise lor!'
and he had the cheek to ask me, "are you filled with hatred and jealousy? cuz if you are jealous, then i dunno what to say,"
Now THAT got to me.
Like hello, why would I wanna be jealous of a possessive ex and his girl-school looking girlfriend. PUI.
And so I said, "now I already apologised for offending you," you stupid freaky egomaniac with a pride so high like the wall of China and twice as long "but please dont insult me by saying that I am jealous of her over YOU. god."
He: yada yada goodnight then.
Me: sweet nightmares of me then.
He: maybe I was over reacting -oh here's the apology- but you really offended me with your words. -God if you cant even take a sarcastic joke like normal healthy humans can [your girlfriend] must be a really boring shu nu- bla bla bla. ok goodnight.
Guys like him ah, wah really man.
I will now place myself in his shoes.
Why will I imagine that my ex is filled with hatred and jealous because of one testimonial?
1) She is single. Most probably no guys want that's why she's still harped over me.
EGO MANIAC WHO COULD BE NARCISSISTIC.
2) She offended me with her words! Like, why cant I bring my current gf to a cruise that we both once went on? "That's history, the past. Why must she bring it up again?" [THESE ARE THE EXACT WORDS USED IN HIS SMS TO SCOLD ME BY THE WAY]
WHY CAN'T I JUST BE JOKING. PETTY TROUT.
Enough. No more ex-trashing. We will still remain [stiff] friends. I will one day find an opportunity to trash his hostel room like KElly Clarkson did in her MTV for Since You've Been Gone.
HOHOHO.
There has been a fair amount of comment on the song in my blog.
A friend has learnt how to play its tune on his guitar and sing somewhat to it.
Many requests for me to send the mp3 to them.
An avid fan tagging in my tagboard requesting for ppl who know Kenn Teo to msg her back [-.-"]
I am getting sick of it and might change it soon.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:07:00 PM|
+ + + + +
Wednesday, February 16
\\**//
Geez I had an Internet problem yesterday. But I fixed it! Am I a genius or a genius?
How did I spent my Valentine's Day?
In school of course. Even couple-- no 's'-- like Keith and Kelly celebrated it on the Sunday before. When class ends at eight pm. It is too late to even enjoy a candlelight.
I was supposed to meet Kevin after school-- but as fate would have it-- my damned handphone spoilt itself and I had to go home cuz I couldn't even switch it on and contact him. Once I got home I was a bit lazy to go all the way to town already--so he said he'll go home after work at 830 and come fetch me later.
I had my mum's supposedly candlelight dinner at home-- by the time I came home the candles were all blown out -.-"
My mother went, "Valentine's Day leh... nobody date you out ah? Got anyone give presents or not?" in this mocking tone.
This Valentine's got dates. Friendly dates. Presents got also. Friendly, chocolatey presents.
EveryValentine'sDayMustHaveRomanticDateMeh
JustBecauseIwasDatingSince13
Doesn'tMeanwhenI'm17IwillHaveaDate!!!!!!!!!!!!
Datees:
Agnes
Christopher
Kevin Kevin
Decided to go out with him cuz he seemed all prepped and ready and nice and since he was coming to fetch me and since we hadn't met up for a LONNNNG time and I was sorry cuz I couldnt contact him earlier and he hadn't had his dinner.
We went to have a quick bite at chomp chomp-- cuz both of us were far too lazy to go into town and queue like siao; and it was pretty late, like 10 plus already.
I had a nice time talking to him--he finally quit his job at Singtel Hello! shop at Raffles.
His boyish grin is still there.
His hair is shorter.
We still remember that time he drew a portrait of my face-- and gasped that it was 8 months ago.
He plans to get a degree in a design course in NTU and work parttime at the same time.
He likes talking to people.
I had a feeling my father was in the vicinity.
And suddenly my parents popped out and seated themselves beside us. It turned out that they were at a pub nearby==again.
The last last time Kevin and I met up-- was during his birthday last ... icantremember... June? July? May? April? oh god. And we were at this cool vintage cafe down Liang Seah street, lounging on old couches and talking over fattening ice cream shakes.
And suddenly my parents and cousin and her husband popped up. And sat outside the cafe drinking beer.
And yesterday night-- my parents did it again. I told Kevin he must be thinking that I set it up! That I make my parents spy on me cuz I am not safe with him around. But he took it as a joke--which it was-- and ...
My parents ordered bar chor mee at first, and started feeding each other. ... Next to us. ...I mean. Yah it's Valentine's Day... it's romantic feeling the wind in the hair... and yes they're kinky... but.
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I feel so Meet the Fockers. The Focker side.
And then my mother made small talk while my dad made lame jokes-- which is a good sign. My dad seemed to take to Kevin and even suggested that he share another bowl of Ba Chor Mee with my mum.
Now Kevin has eaten a plate of Hokkien Mee already, and a bowl of rice with Mutton Soup... AND a HUUUUGE glass of Sugar Cane Juice. And no I did not even take a morsel of food from him.
My dad ordered the bowl of noodles anyway. My mother scooped out the noodles into another bowl as a form of courtesy, and Kevin ate.
My dad seemed pleased.
Because 1) Kevin is a naturally good talker with a natural flair of pleasing people. Like, one will feel comfortable and at east when talking to him.
I can tell because he is not only this way with me, but also with my parents--whom I can tell are far more comfortable with Kevin than any other guy they've met with me before. They were all like, talking amiably and Kevin seemed to put them in a better mood.
I guess that's how Kevin got the Best Customer Service Employee in the entire Singtel in the entire Singapore. hohoho. And even the way he hao lian is not hao lian-- it's funny.
2) My dad is pleased because Kevin is a good eater-- but even more importantly, he does not turn down my dad's offers-- my dad likes to force people to eat. At home, his forcing comes to no avail because girls have so much more will power to resist food and we're all accustomed to his forcing. I guess my dad always loves a guy who can eat.
In summary: My parents like Kevin.
After their bowls of mee, off they went with the words, "okay, I'll leave you with my daughter and make sure you bring her home safe and sound or I'll come after you," YES THOSE ARE THE EXACT WORDS MY MOTHER SAID and they were gone like the wind.
It is so fun to have eccentric parents. Eccentric runs on my mother's side of the family. My Aunty Suzy is VERY extremely eccentric. So is my cousin Chrishirl.
Anyway. Kevin sent me home around 2am. It was nice catching up with him. A good friend. I felt that I was looking into a mature mind of a young, typical male. I mean, the way he talks and thinks is exactly like any typical male! The way he speaks about the girls in his office, how irritating and gossipy they are, his love for collecting jeans, how they are made and everything. Talked about almost everything under the moon. Can't believe this friendship stemmed from being waited on by me as a customer-waitress business one year ago. The funniest things fate does.
I slept at 3am.
And I woke up at 9am-- when I was supposed to be in school at this time to collect equipment for filming.
Alex called me and woke me up. He was late too. So was Khairiyah. We thought of postponing the film but in the end credibility got the better of us cuz we'd promised Jack the Fishmonger that we'd film him today-- and he seemed to excited about it --and he was a nice vain Fishmonger so we went down for him.
And I will begin the 4 steps of Eye Protection. In fact, it has already begun.
1) Wear sunglasses in mild, strong and extreme rays of sunlight, to protect squinting against sun--in long run, prevents wrinkles.
2) Drip eye drop into eyes every 2 hours-- long wearing of contact lenses can cause layer of membrane to tear over time and cause infection. My eyes need as much moisturiser as they can get.
3) Use an eye mask once every week-- to soothe the eye area and moisturise. Prevention of wrinkles. i am gonna use one tonight!
4) Invest in eye cream(s)-- as usual, prevent wrinkles and moisturise. Never too late to start young.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:09:00 PM|
\\**//
Geez I had an Internet problem yesterday. But I fixed it! Am I a genius or a genius?
How did I spent my Valentine's Day?
In school of course. Even couple-- no 's'-- like Keith and Kelly celebrated it on the Sunday before. When class ends at eight pm. It is too late to even enjoy a candlelight.
I was supposed to meet Kevin after school-- but as fate would have it-- my damned handphone spoilt itself and I had to go home cuz I couldn't even switch it on and contact him. Once I got home I was a bit lazy to go all the way to town already--so he said he'll go home after work at 830 and come fetch me later.
I had my mum's supposedly candlelight dinner at home-- by the time I came home the candles were all blown out -.-"
My mother went, "Valentine's Day leh... nobody date you out ah? Got anyone give presents or not?" in this mocking tone.
This Valentine's got dates. Friendly dates. Presents got also. Friendly, chocolatey presents. EveryValentine'sDayMustHaveRomanticDateMehJustBecauseIwasDatingSince13
Doesn'tMeanwhenI'm17IwillHaveaDate!!!!!!!!!!!!
Datees:
Agnes
Christopher
Kevin Kevin
Decided to go out with him cuz he seemed all prepped and ready and nice and since he was coming to fetch me and since we hadn't met up for a LONNNNG time and I was sorry cuz I couldnt contact him earlier and he hadn't had his dinner.
We went to have a quick bite at chomp chomp-- cuz both of us were far too lazy to go into town and queue like siao; and it was pretty late, like 10 plus already.
I had a nice time talking to him--he finally quit his job at Singtel Hello! shop at Raffles.
His boyish grin is still there.
His hair is shorter.
We still remember that time he drew a portrait of my face-- and gasped that it was 8 months ago.
He plans to get a degree in a design course in NTU and work parttime at the same time.
He likes talking to people.
I had a feeling my father was in the vicinity.
And suddenly my parents popped out and seated themselves beside us. It turned out that they were at a pub nearby==again.
The last last time Kevin and I met up-- was during his birthday last ... icantremember... June? July? May? April? oh god. And we were at this cool vintage cafe down Liang Seah street, lounging on old couches and talking over fattening ice cream shakes.
And suddenly my parents and cousin and her husband popped up. And sat outside the cafe drinking beer.
And yesterday night-- my parents did it again. I told Kevin he must be thinking that I set it up! That I make my parents spy on me cuz I am not safe with him around. But he took it as a joke--which it was-- and ...
My parents ordered bar chor mee at first, and started feeding each other. ... Next to us. ...I mean. Yah it's Valentine's Day... it's romantic feeling the wind in the hair... and yes they're kinky... but.
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I feel so Meet the Fockers. The Focker side.
And then my mother made small talk while my dad made lame jokes-- which is a good sign. My dad seemed to take to Kevin and even suggested that he share another bowl of Ba Chor Mee with my mum.
Now Kevin has eaten a plate of Hokkien Mee already, and a bowl of rice with Mutton Soup... AND a HUUUUGE glass of Sugar Cane Juice. And no I did not even take a morsel of food from him.
My dad ordered the bowl of noodles anyway. My mother scooped out the noodles into another bowl as a form of courtesy, and Kevin ate.
My dad seemed pleased. Because 1) Kevin is a naturally good talker with a natural flair of pleasing people. Like, one will feel comfortable and at east when talking to him.
I can tell because he is not only this way with me, but also with my parents--whom I can tell are far more comfortable with Kevin than any other guy they've met with me before. They were all like, talking amiably and Kevin seemed to put them in a better mood.
I guess that's how Kevin got the Best Customer Service Employee in the entire Singtel in the entire Singapore. hohoho. And even the way he hao lian is not hao lian-- it's funny.
2) My dad is pleased because Kevin is a good eater-- but even more importantly, he does not turn down my dad's offers-- my dad likes to force people to eat. At home, his forcing comes to no avail because girls have so much more will power to resist food and we're all accustomed to his forcing. I guess my dad always loves a guy who can eat.
In summary: My parents like Kevin.
After their bowls of mee, off they went with the words, "okay, I'll leave you with my daughter and make sure you bring her home safe and sound or I'll come after you," YES THOSE ARE THE EXACT WORDS MY MOTHER SAID and they were gone like the wind.
It is so fun to have eccentric parents. Eccentric runs on my mother's side of the family. My Aunty Suzy is VERY extremely eccentric. So is my cousin Chrishirl.
Anyway. Kevin sent me home around 2am. It was nice catching up with him. A good friend. I felt that I was looking into a mature mind of a young, typical male. I mean, the way he talks and thinks is exactly like any typical male! The way he speaks about the girls in his office, how irritating and gossipy they are, his love for collecting jeans, how they are made and everything. Talked about almost everything under the moon. Can't believe this friendship stemmed from being waited on by me as a customer-waitress business one year ago. The funniest things fate does.
I slept at 3am.
And I woke up at 9am-- when I was supposed to be in school at this time to collect equipment for filming.
Alex called me and woke me up. He was late too. So was Khairiyah. We thought of postponing the film but in the end credibility got the better of us cuz we'd promised Jack the Fishmonger that we'd film him today-- and he seemed to excited about it --and he was a nice vain Fishmonger so we went down for him.
And I will begin the 4 steps of Eye Protection. In fact, it has already begun.
1) Wear sunglasses in mild, strong and extreme rays of sunlight, to protect squinting against sun--in long run, prevents wrinkles.
2) Drip eye drop into eyes every 2 hours-- long wearing of contact lenses can cause layer of membrane to tear over time and cause infection. My eyes need as much moisturiser as they can get.
3) Use an eye mask once every week-- to soothe the eye area and moisturise. Prevention of wrinkles. i am gonna use one tonight!
4) Invest in eye cream(s)-- as usual, prevent wrinkles and moisturise. Never too late to start young.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:04:00 PM|
+ + + + +
Sunday, February 13
\\**//
So I said,
"I broke a record by talking to this guy for 34 minutes,"
And he said,
"why, don't you talk on the phone anymore?"
And I said,
"no..I have stayed away from the phone for the past 2 years already. I sms more these days,"
And here comes the quote of the ... blog entry/night/whatever:
"But u are an oral person.. not fingering one,"
OMG I so love the quote-- and the guy.
Neilux. Li'En. My all-time favourite kor.
Kor is such a childish word. I so want to upgrade it. But if I do, all nostalgia and memories will be lost cuz he's my best kor!! [eee i feel so childish saying kor]
He made my night!!! I am just so happy. The single, not so frequent MSN chats we have periodically is enough to bring back happy sec 1 memories.
Five years ago.
And five years later he's still putting a smile on my face and a giggle up my throat.
And then
Quote of the night only by Agnes:
"So happy for what"
-cold water splashes down on my head-
the angels they burn inside for us|11:53:00 PM|
\\**//
I won back my past few days' losses.
I was meant to have lunch with my older cousins and then go visit some of dad's friends today. But in the end both were cancelled due to some blah and so we stayed home and gambled with other of dad's friends.
It was great.
Claudia bought a VCD-CD set of Jay Chou's, and after the Simple Life [which is totally hilarious], we put it on. I think the director of Jay's MTVs seriously doesnt know how to do critical focus. Half the time I was squinting at the tv trying to figure out there was problem with my contact lenses or what.
It turned out to be what cuz I kept rubbing my eyes and tilting my head from side to side but still the images on the TV were like blurry fuzzy whatthehellamiwatching kind.
Miss P's cool and firm voice floated into my mind. "Remember to do critical focus. It is a must do basic!"
Raphael's urgent and tenor voice drifted into my brain, settling like dust above Miss P's, "Got do critical focus not? Aiyo, why never do? Alamak, I duno what to say about you all man..."
Bah. Jay's director really did not do critical focus-- or else it'd be my television screen was too big and the images became pixelated.
And I have no idea if different directors were used, cuz I am really not a chinese person, and the font was so small I couldnt even read the name of director at the start or end of each MTV. By the time I finished "dao yan", the words had faded off and I couldnt proceed after the semi colon.
And he or "hes" had pretty creative camera angles, but had this really weird knack of focusing on the background, then blurring it and focusing on a near object after like, 2 seconds. There was a lot of blurring for all of the 10 songs in the VCD, add the pixelated wholesome image, and I couldnt really see much detail.
And ALL the females acting in his MTVs are all the usual-- girly, long haired, shu nu , fair, floaty, makesmewannapuke girls. ALL the same kind. They all have this, weak, ohJAY look on their faces. This, look-at-me-see-how-pretty-my-eyes-look kinda face. OMG. Oh yes. Not discluding Rui En.
Never change. I think either Jay totally compares all his girl actors to Jolin or the director/producer/artiste manager totally wants to getiton with the shu nu type girlies who have mastered a standard type of smile. That oh I am so gentle smile.
not to mention act cute poses at times.
this is a dont you wanna kiss me? pose.
I mean, why can't Jay or any other MTV star girls who have oomph. Like not all so aery fairy and shu nu and act gentle girlies. It all lies in their smile. The last shu nu pic has lotsa emotion in her eyes--and it doesnt really look that fake.
In most chinese MTVs the girls are usually all so shu nu ish and fair and fakely gentle and long hair-ish and blah diddy blah.
Cuz chinese songs are mostly love songs and it probably means love requires a shu nu ish girl and a manly man.
Which is why girls always turn shu nu ish [or at least try to act gentle] when in the presence of a potential male.
Because it is said that males mostly like a shu nu ish girl.
WHY!?!? Why must males be attracted to shu nu ish girls. EEEEYUK!! And yet they claim girls should have personality and be friendly and bubbly. I guess their definition of friendly and bubbly is equivalent to act cutey and "Jay!! that's so funny!!" in a sickeningly sweet tao yan voice.
I shall try to search for a picture of a not so shu nu ish girl. So that MTV China or whatever can use her for the love songs, for a whole new spice. Girl who has attitude and that sweet yet i-know-how-to-have-fun kind of smile.
I can't find it.
No girl looks shu nu-ish yet has a sweet and i-know-how-to-have-fun kinda smile.
As I search on, my hopes are diminishing. Don't tell me shu nu ish girls are so spineless and so...blah diddy blah!?!?
I am trying to prove maself wrong and also give the entire species of shu nu ish girls another chance at showing they are not so shu nu ish as I think.
Aiyo really don't have but I am not giving up.
I really couldnt find a shu nu who has attitude pic who is Asian so I had to settle something that looks shu nu--but ang moh.
And attitude in the smile.
Another one:
supposedly ang moh shu nu again, this time allure in the eyes and the not so attempting to please with the seductive smirk.
HO! I think I might have struck the wood under all that mud now.
She looks feminine with the flowery skirt, long hair and fair skin that is supposedly traits of shu nus, Asian, BUT her smile is set firm. Eyes have power. Don't have that ohsoweak and ijustlovepleasingyou face!! Girl who knows what she wants.
Oh yes. I now know why most guys dont like girls with attitude. cuz they mostly like girls to listen to them and their wants. Gee.
What they like might not be what they get. And that's why shu nus appeal most to them. Gentle outlook, nice to step on, smiley always or else it'll be cry-ey. But then he'll still appear to be macho by wrapping his manly arms around the shu nu and she'll say, 'you really won't bully me again...' and he'll gently kiss her fair forehead while her gentle smile forms.
EEEEYUCK. [thanx to kelly. copyrighted by her]
the angels they burn inside for us|2:11:00 AM|
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Saturday, February 12
\\*Secrets.*//
This blog entry is not really about secrets. It's rather about... uncovering and discovering something after a few long years.
So. My ex and I were chatting over MSN just last night, and somehow, he mentioned an old classmate. I shall set up the scenario and basis of our then-friendship.
J, S, W and I used to hang out for awhile in the beginning of Secondary 3. They are all males. At that time, I think I knew S first. S, W and J were all in the same class as I. I seem to have forgotten how numbers were exchanged, but I remember SMSing S in the afternoons after school and stuff.
Forgot what we SMSed about, but S used to ask me out for dinner with J and W. At that time, I hardly knew J or W or even S that well. But I went out with them cuz I wanted to bond with classmates more since it was a new class for the next 2 years.
S is very rich. He hails from Indonesia and has an entire business empire over there owned by his filthy rich family. At that time I didn't know about his empire-- I just took it that he was above average in terms of finance.
Actually, all three guys, S, W and J were quite well off. And they were hanging in the same group at that time. So my dinners and movie were paid for, to which i felt slightly uncomfortable-- once I remember going to watch MIIB with Agnes, J and S. Cab fares, popcorn, movie tickets were all paid for-- and we didn't even watch the show cuz it was SO freaking lame, it was a weekend, and we had front row seats. We spent the 2 hours talking and laughing.
Anyway. My ex mentioned last night in MSN that when S was smsing me, which was quite often, he was always there. As in, my ex was with S when S was smsing me.
But I couldnt really remember smsing S that much. But I DO remember smsing him cuz I remember seeing his name in my inbox--visual images in my brain.
Somehow, I grew closer with J during all those platonic hang outs we had with J and S. I found that I liked him then. So I asked him out on a one-on-one date on the excuse that-- here's how I smsed him.
"Where you now?"
-his reply-
"Wan eat dinner with me? Myfamily went out for dinner and ask me to settle myself, and I forgot to bring my house keys. My friends have to go back for dinner"
-his positive reply-
I had my friends with me and was discussing how to sms him to ask him out. I called my mum and told her i'm not going back for dinner.
S knew about it and somehow the SMSes stopped around here I think. I thought nothing of it.
As anyone would've guessed by now. J is my ex. Been together for 1.5 years while in the same class. With S. And J does not like S. Which is surprising cuz they hang together last time. But S was one of those whom J hated me to talk to in our rship.
S is now with another girl from our secondary school. He has showered her with a puppy dog, probably diamonds and other exquisite stuff.
This is information from my ex which he told me in the MSN conversation last night. When he said puppy dog, I remember a time in sec 3, when I walked past the pet shop near our school and was marvelling at the puppies when S said, "If you really want it i can buy it for you," to which I refused politely.
In the MSn conversation with my ex, which went like this:
Ex: You should've been with S, back in Sec 3.
Me [surprised at the sudden mention of S whom I have no contact with now]: why? what happened in sec 3?
Ex: He like you mah
Me: Got meh? Why I dunno?
Ex: Dunno, but he told his parents that I stole his gf
Me: Siao. I wasnt even his gf
Ex: DUnno leh, you know last time he always SMS you?
Me: No leh where got -then images of his name in my inbox come flooding in-
Me: Oh yeah yeah got!!
Ex: I was always with him when he was SMSing you.
Me: er..okay. So?
Ex: So I think he like you last time.
Me: cannot be lor. I never felt anything.
Ex: He never admitted but if not why he tell his parents that? even if it's joking
Me: WHY YOU NEVER TELL ME???
Ex: why must tell you?
Me: I would've liked to know what.
Ex: why, regret ah? if you go with him maybe would've been happier
Me: I seldom regret stuff.
Ex: anyway, his girl is very lucky. he bought her a dog.
Me: Orh..no wonder last time you always dont like me to talk to S
Ex: aiyah.it's not cuz of that lah
Me: then what?
Ex: just dont like lor
MEN. And they claim that girls cannot be understood.
Although this topic is very stupid, but it was lingering and hiding at the back of my mind for the past day. It's like, what other stuff do my friends know that they've never told me?
Maybe they'll only tell me when I'm like, 70? When my grandchildren are running around me, suddenly, Pamela hobbles up and says, "eh..Max ah..you know ah...last time in primary 4...I ate your skippy peanut butter sandwich and made you starve for recess..."
Or maybe, Kelly'll say at 55, "Now that I'm all retired and basking in love's glow...I want to tell you-- Please return me a copy of Style, or whatever magazine's out in the market. I remember that time during Wendy Wong's lecture when we were both ohsoyoung at 17, YOU TORE OUT MY STYLE ADS!!!!! "
Who would've known. After 3 years, the truth of an old classmate's feelings are out. And I was naively in the dark. It's not the feeling of regret. It's that I could've treated him better. Esp that period where I was forbidden to talk to him in sec 4. Under the rule of my ex's thumb. BOO.
Goodbye to possessive boys. Never again. Hello to mature men.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:33:00 AM|
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Friday, February 11
\\**//
aim of the day was to look like an over blushed Barbie doll.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:12:00 AM|
\\**//
araxes and me on the 1st day of cny. she says she looks evil.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:10:00 AM|
\\**//
outfit of the day in a very unflattering pose.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:08:00 AM|
\\**//
Niece Xin Yi. and her mum. so cute right.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:05:00 AM|
\\**//
in the clubhouse or function room of Aunty Suzy's condo at SengKang. all my cousins and nieces. uncles and aunties. not all have arrived when i took the picture tho.i'm glad to know that I finally know the names of my 2 nieces Jia Yi and Xin Yi. Their mother is my cousin's wife--teaches in NYJC. oh no i forgot her name.
the angels they burn inside for us|12:02:00 AM|
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Wednesday, February 9
\\*1st Day of Money-Taking Venture*//
IT was a boring day for me. BOOOORRRRIIIINNNNNGGG.
Outfit of the Day
BUT there were some highlights of my freaking boredom.
I went to my Dad's Eldest sister's house first, what's it called in chinese? Da Gu Ma is it? Dunno, never bothered with such terms, everyone is just Aunty and Uncle, older cousins are just jie jie and kor kor.
ANyway. Went to Aunty Jessie's house and had lunch there. I simply cannot stand her husband's taste in music-- and her husband himself, sometimes. Her husband's name is Uncle Percy, but do not get the wrong impression of Uncle Percy, for he is not the rolly-polly kind of guy most Percys are associated with. He is, in fact, a tall, lean and well-carried man, with whitish hair and whitish beard-- almost like... erm, not Santa, like... an English man.
ANYWAY. I understand his taste in classical music. Totally, like, why shouldnt I? Afterall, no one can stop me from liking RnB or Agnes from liking metal, or Caryn from liking Energy, orrrr Uncle Percy from liking his absolutely... erm... delightful Classical Music.
So, my long-distance cousins [i have no idea where they live, just that we meet frequently, like every Christmas and chinese New Year?] Jason and Jamin [i have NO idea how to spell their names...] both come from RI, one of them doing NS now...i think it's Jaymin. So smart. And their mother, my aunt is a principal of a primary school, but I dont know what. I feel so informative of my relatives' lives. We were all relaxing after lunch at the living room.
Uncle Percy subscribes to Cable Vision, as do all of us, BUT not to Channel 20 aka MTV [i know cuz I tried to switch to that channel] BUT to what channels? Channel 47 and Channel 50.
God knows what channels are they, but they are so CHINA-ish CHANNELS!!! So, he had Channel 47 switched on but I didn't want to watch people rushing to be the first to stick joss sticks into some urn in Shanghai, so I switched to Channel 5 [while Uncle Percy was eating his lunch of course, wouldnt wanna infuriate the man of the house], where they were doing a rerun of MTV Video Awards!!
Of course I watched that, but just for like, 5 MINUTES? I watched eeky Avril get her eeky prize and that was about it, for Uncle Percy came back and put on a DVD. I was like, "aite, fine...I hope it's a nice one" BUT guess what??
It was some very China-ish DVD on this songstress called Song Zu Ying singing Chinese soprano in VIENNA!!! Where all the ang-mohs were like, singing as her choir and attending the concert as she sang MO LI HUA [Jasmine Flower] and some song called Spice Girls [which I expected to be like, you wanna uh you wanna uh you wanna really really really wanna zigazag ahhh but instead it was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhHHHHHHHhhhhHHHHHhhh ]
AND. I simply felt like strangling Uncle Percy for putting about TEN people to utter boredom by playing a DVD that HE only liked! I shall count. There's Araxes, Claudia, ME, Mummy, Daddy, Jason, Jaymin, Aunty Priscilla [my cousin's mother], Uncle Weemin[my cousin's mother's husband], their maid, Jie Wendy [my cousin under Aunty Jessie], Aunty JEssie herself and of course Uncle Percy. MOre than 10 people!
AND there was like, nothing else to do, since I dont converse with my cousins although they are around the same age, I only said Happy New Year to both of them, so that makes 6 words in all. I answered questions about my school dutifully to Aunty Priscilla. ANd other than that I had to stare at the soprano singer for like, 2 hours!? OH MY GOD. it was pure torture. She went like, "Mo Liii HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA " and went on and on about its fragrance for like, 5 minutes. For Christ's Sake it's just a Jasmine Flower, the original folk song took only 2 minutes at most I THINK.
And there was the song about how China rules? OH my GOD. By the time is was already ending and I was not even listening to the lyrics, I caught the title, and it was "I love China". How.stupidcanthatbe. There isnt even a national song like "I love Singapore", is there? Oh please dont tell me there is. I'd just die.
That was how I concluded that Uncle Percy was a communist. I told mummy that and she just laughs. Actually, I know the adults dont really fancy Uncle Percy too. It's a secret I shan't say. Although I went out into the garden to play with their dalmatians, the dogs were kinda slobbery so I had no choice but to go back in to Miss Song Zu Ying and her orchestra of Vienniese ang mohs.
I STILL can't believe he made his guests watch a classical soprano DVD on Chinese New Year!! I mean, watching the news on Chinese in SHanghai rush to be the first to stick joss sticks into urns is much better--at least I can see how the news is made, China-style. Classical Soprano DVD? Camera Angles? The high pitched sounds of Miss Song already pierced through my ears into my brain, giving it a brain squeeze, thus deeming is malfunctioned, unable to process any other task than stone.
Aunty Jessie came and was like, "Who in this room here likes to watch this?" and no one raised up their hand -- I made a face -- except my father. 1) The face I made was seen by Uncle Percy and his daughter Wendy!! Wendy kept laughing at my face but softly so her father wouldnt hear; while Uncle Percy laughed at my face and said, "i guess the younger generation wont appreciate such things" like duh. 2) My father went, "quite good ah her voice, so strong" followed by his sister Aunty Priscilla going, "at first you wouldnt appreciate it but after awhile it's quite ok and good"
Save face nia. BOO.
It was hot and boring and I was getting sticky. Next Destination was my mother's mother's 1st husband's brother's house, where my grandmother's ashes were kept.
As usual, slacked around, watched some TV [normal Channel 8 this time] and I said so out loud, "Wah, finally, normal old Channel 8," to nobody in particular but my sister heard and laughed. Everyone should be glad for the normality of Channel 8. Which isn't even called Channel 8 now, just 8.
Played Blackjack for awhile. Then my other relatives stepped in. I didn't really know how we were related, just that they were my family of the daugher of the wife of my grandmother's 1st husband's brother. BAH in short, my cousin married a guy and they bore children and therefore the family of four stepped in as I was playing Blackjack. [i Didn't know she was my cousin until mummy told me later]
And my niece and nephew were so cute!! ALthough they probably do not know how we are related as well, and we have not spoken since they were born, they still came in and smiled at us cheerily as SOME children do, and shook hands with us and said "HAPPY NEW YEAR" in this cheery cute voice.
And although I, at that time, did not know that they were my niece and nephew, continued smiling at them cuz they kept smiling at me.
And my OTHER cousin, I dont even know his name but he's the brother of the mother of the cute niece and nephew. GOD I dont even know their names some kinda aunty i am. and cousin. BUT they also dunno my name what. He was like, "call jie jie, got wish happy new year not?"
and my cousin's mother [not my aunty, i dunno how she's related to me since she's my grandmother's 1st husband's brother's wife] was like, "not jie jie, is yi yi."
I was like, flabbergasted. What the hell is Yi Yi?? Sounds like some kinda thing Kelly will say when she is disgusted. Yi3 Yi2. So I asked my mother with a horror-stricken face, "Mummy what is Yi yi?!?!?" I DO NOT want to be called Yi Yi. Yi3 Yi2.
I found out that Yi Yi is aunty. Like duh. but what aunty?? Like I dont even know what is Gu gu. Gu1 gu1. GAH so confusing. I shall just stick to my normal way of calling everyone related to me [or not] aunty and uncle.
so. my niece was watching me play Blacjack and all of a sudden, when I was on a roll, she appeared by my side and asked oh-so-cutely, "Do you know how to speak chinese?"
This question is so weird because I hardly spoke a word while playing Blackjack with dad and 2 sisters and cousin whose name I dont know [and i only knew he was Cousin later on today].
I stared at her for 2 seconds while smiling somewhat, weirdly and paiseh-ly. Alot of things were flashing through my mind. If she doesn't know I'm a chinese, how can she know that I'm related to her, or even worse, her YI YI [whatever that is].
So i went, "I DO know how to speak chinese ah..." and she smiled at me and scurried back to her seat.
I went, "Mummy...[MUMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE] how come she doesnt know I know how to speak chinese?? Dont I look Chinese??"
Ok I dont. BUt if I'm not chinese why am I carrying around red bags of oranges in her house =(
My mother smiled a motherly smile and said, "Speak to her, show her that you know how to speak chinese,"
So I smiled at her for another, 2 seconds before attempting to speak in Mandarin. I was STILL stunned and shocked at this innocent outburst that obviously shows I do not look Chinese to a 5-year-old. Is she 5? I remember her mother saying she's in Primary One. I really can't remember. Maybe she's 7.
I went, "Ni jiao she me ming zi?" [what is your name?] which I really did not know... in this REALLY horrible sounding to my ears KANTANG voice lor. MACHIAM I REALLY DUNNO HOW TO SPEAK MANDARIN!!! WHAT THE HELL!! Sia-suayed in front of all elders.
But at least I knew her name, "Jaslyn".
Not bad quite nice for a sweet girl like her. I would've liked to take a pic with her and her brother who is younger than her whose name I do not know, but by the time I was done with Blackjack, they had gone to sleep.
Not much highlights otherwise in this boring day. Went to 2 more houses then that was it. I lost in Blackjack, my grandma gave me a wrong hongbao, cuz she gave my sisters $20 while I got only $4. =..(
But it's okay.
Its all terribly okay.
All proceeds from my Money-Taking Venture will go to Mini Ipod in Pink.
Tomorrow will be Aunty Suzy's house, where I predict... Aunty Shirley, jie Chrishirl, her kids Emmanuel and Eduard and her husband Kor Edmund, jie Maureen and kor Michael and their kid Mandy, Kor Zhong and his wife [i forgot her name], Kor Zai and his wife [i forgot her name] and their kid(s) [i forgot their name(s)] , Aunty Bibi, her [2nd] husband Uncle Heng, her kids with him Shi Jie and Wen Xuan, and 1st husband's kids Guang Wei and Ching Ling, Uncle David and his son Reuben and hopefully MORE, will be there.
Then it's Aunty Nancy's house [who isn't really my aunt, just mother's friend] where more ang baos await for my Ipod]
Mummy Maxine, when will Chinese New Year be over? I dowanna wear this stupid red thing it's so HOT!!! Please please mummy please...I promise to be good. I wont vomit in cars, I wont chew door stoppers or slippers, I won't bring lice home, I won't bite stranger's ankles...Just dont make me wear this no more...I'm suffering, suffering badly under all this TORTURE!!!!
Junior, if you make another whine about the beautiful doggy robe I bought for you, I swear you will see the colour smeared all over your white fur-- the colour of auspicious luck. Now, WEAR IT!! RED brings good luck and good fortune. If you want good fortune, you'd BETTER wear it, I'm telling you...or you'll see nothing out of those big brown eyes of yours...Honey...I'm sure you love it, ya? Now...while Mummy wears is on for you...good boy..so clever ya..sit here quietly..Everyone will just purr at how cute and lovely and LUCKY you look!!
the angels they burn inside for us|2:54:00 AM|
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Tuesday, February 8
\\**//
I spent my Chinese New Year of the Rooster Eve eating my reuinion dinner at 5pm in the evening--a tad too early. I heard Dad wanted to have it at 3pm. -.-" Who ever eats reunion meals in the afternoon. Bu san bu si timing.
Steamboat, as usual.
The rest of the evening was spent reading Slightly Settled, a book borrowed from Kelly, who borrowed it from the Library somewhere. I have spent just 3 hours and am done reading it. It is about a girl whom I can identify with-- single, runs her opinions through friends before deciding on a solution, has an inner self who rears its head sometimes, thinks with her heart instead of head...and basically thinks the same way as I do, from the way the story in told and unfolded.
But I am not as lucky as her, Tracey, who finds herself with another cute guy, one who totally appreciates her, does sweet things for her like calling her first thing in the morning, whipping up meals for her, AND BEST OF ALL, because he was supposed to cook a meal for her as a date [so romantic], his friend suddenly got tickets to some football game--his favourite team-- so he had to blow her off; and she was heartbroken and all, and they quarrelled, BUT he comes knocking at her door with a buncha roses which he cannot possibly afford AND a bag of groceries to cook the sweet meal at her house! AND a heartfelt apology.
AND he's good looking. AND tall. AND they work in the same company but in different departments so they can go to work together in the mornings but yet not feel suffocated by seeing each other everyday at work.
Where got such thing one lor. So lucky. BOO. All this while she was nursing a heartbreak with her narcissistic ex-boyfriend.
Anyway, I found myself Laughing Out Loud at some parts in the book. And I came to this extract in which I could totally identify with, because I have been in similar situations.
"Naive," Latisha says abruptly in a loud, light-bulb-going-off voice. "That's it. You're naive."
"Naive? Me?" I force a laugh, aware that everybody in the vicinity is eavesdropping. "That's ridiculous. I'm not the least bit naive. I'm about as naive as... as..."
Dammit. I can't think of a single soul who's suitably un-naive, so I just say again, "I'm not naive."
"Sure you are. You go around all starry-eyed, thinking some guy is going to come and sweep you off your feet. You're just waiting for it to happen." Latisha waves her finger in my face. "And honey, it ain't like that. No guy is going to save you."
"Save me from what?" I ask, royally pissed off at her know-it-all attitude.
"Save you from yourself," she says, "From being alone."
I want to lash out at her...
But I can't.
Because when you come right down to it, isn't she telling me the same thing I've been trying to tell myself all alone?
Maybe she's right
Maybe I am naive.
Then again...
What if I'm not? What if Latisha-- and everybody else I know -- is too jaded? What if I prove them all wrong and marry my Prince Charming and live happily ever after?
I mean, fairy-tale endings have to happen to somebody.
Why not me?
-- end of extract --
Latisha is obviously lead girl's [Tracey's] friend. For me, Latisha has come in the form of 1stly, Charlotte. Secondly, Vevian Cheong.
I remember very vividly Charlotte saying, "Maxine ah, will be the only one who supports Trudy and encourages her that one day she'll meet Yu Wen Le [Shawn Yu]. Because Maxine is the only one who will believe in such things lor. She's like in her own world where got Prince Charming and princesses one. And of course the bai ma wang zi,"
But the fact is Trudy does know people who are connected to Shawn Yu what... like she told me she knows this guy who played basketball with him before. And his friend or something...so the chances of her meeting him is possibly higher what...
And ya Charlotte says i'm naive. Which I dont disagree with, neither do I agree. Cuz sometimes I feel more intelligent than others -- more EQ -- so how can I be totally naive?
Anyway, I didn't feel like lashing back at Charlotte like Tracey felt like lashing out at Latisha, because at that point of time, I was intrigued and amused at this newly found fact that I am possibly living in my own world.
Once, I was in Vevian Cheong's office with Syaz, Yiting and Eve for our National Family Week project thingy. And I forgot what we were talking about at that time, maybe picking a name for our team. I remember offering "Children of Youth" cuz it sounds relatively innocent and youthful.
Of course the rest of the team disagreed. I said, "it sounds innocent and youthful and if they think or have the impression that we're children they'll be more impressed at our quality of work,"
To which Vevian remarked, "Maxine is living in her own world," to me, she said, "Sometimes you must be more realistic. Always see you like living in your own world you know...like the world is a fairy-tale like that."
And Syazwan had to say, "And she's waiting for her Prince Charming to come riding on a white horse and sweep her off her feet."
Thanks Syaz, for totally improving the impression I have on lecturers.
BLEAH!
I am so naive meh...where got...=( it's just good to check in with the inner childhood self once in awhile, to make sure that history of childhood is not completely erased.
Enough of that. I now feel compelled to post another extract of some romantic prose I got outta Slightly Settled. It's so DAMN romantic. The most romantic bit outta the entire story, because Jack [lead male who falls for Tracey] is a damn nice guy. GAHHHH!!!! i KNOW it only happens in stories. But why can't it just be me ?
Anyway here goes.
Here's the part where she's waiting for her ex to return her her clothes which she left at her house, after the quarrel with Jack.
There's a knock on the door.
I steel myself and reach out to open it.
Jack.
"Dianne's right," he says, "I am an asshole."
I just stare at him.
He's wearing a down jacket, and under it, a Giants jersey and jeans. He's holding a brown paper bag in one arm, with leafy greens sticking out at the top. In the other arm is the biggest bouquet of red roses I've ever seen.
"These are for you," he says, thrusting them into my hands. [Maxine thinks it is a not very gentlemanly gesture to 'thrust' things into girl's hands]
"But..."
He cant afford them. They must have cost him a month's worth of utility bills. [Maxine sniffs. So sweet.]
"So are these," he says, holding up the grocery bag. "But they're heavy, so I wont hand them over. Your stove works right? And you have pots and pans?"
I nod. My heart is pounding; my thoughts are racing. I just stand there clutching the roses, staring at him.
This is the sign, I think
The sign I was looking for.
The sign that it's meant to be.
Jack looks down at the floor, then back at me.
"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "Really, really really sorry. I don't know what the hell got into me. I just... I really wanted to go to that game, and I'm not used to stopping to think about anybody's feelings first. I know it makes me sound like an insensitive clod, but...that's what I am."
"No," I say, and swallow hard. "You aren't."
"Yes I am. But I'm going to try really hard not to be, from now on." [How many guys have ever said this to me? *thinks* ONE, in seventeen years and 2 months of my life on planet Earth]
"But...what about the game tonight?"
He shrugs. "We got as far as the other side of the Lincoln Tunnel before I came to my senses. So i got out of the car and I walked until I found a bus stop, and when the bus came, I took it back to Manhattan. I would've been here sooner, but it was running on a Saturday schedule. So was the subway. Plus I had to stop at the florist and the grocery store."
"For me," I murmur. "You did all that for me."
"Yeah," he says. "I'd do anything for you, Tracey." [Maxine is melting for the gazillionth time since she met Jack in Slightly Settled]
"Even give up the Giants? Because my cable is still turned off, so if you stay--"
"I know. I can't see the game. It's fine."
"It is?"
He shrugs. "I'll catch them in the Super Bowl."
"They might not make it."
"I might never have another chance with you. WIll you forgive me?" [ok this is a bit chessy. and corny.]
Remember how I vowed to stop listening to my heart?
Remember how I concluded that I don't know what's best for me?
Well, I was wrong.
It's time to start trusting Tracey.
It's time to start taking chances.
It's time to start doing what I want to do, and the hell with what everyone else wants me to do.
And what I want to do is...
Take a chance on Jack.
He's not perfect. Nobody's perfect. Not Jack. Not me. And not our relationship.
But it's what I want. I don't have to try being alone.
Been there, done that.
Time to move on.
So I tell Jack, "Yes, I forgive you,"
He steps into my apartment, sets down the groceries and opens his arms.
I close the door and step into them.
We kiss for a long time.
When we're done kissing-- at least for now-- he says, "I have something else for you," and he reaches into the pocket of his coat.
He pulls out a flat, rectangular gift-wrapped package and hands it to me.
"What is it?" I ask.
"A present. Something that you need."
I tear off the wrapping with trembling fingers.
"A picture frame," I say, a bit puzzled. "It's...it's really nice."
"Yeah," he says, dimples deepening. [I kept trying to envision the cute Jack with dimples!]
And then it dawns on me.
"It's for the picture of us!" I tell him, and he grins and hugs me.
For a split second, I'm elated. And then I remember.
Twinge of guilt.
Shred of doubt.
"Jack," I say, because I have to. "There's something I hav to tell you,"
"What is it?" He pulls back to look down at me, concern in his eyes. "Is something wrong?"
"I lied, " I say.
"About what?"
I take a deep breath.
"Remember the morning you saw the picture of us in the frame? And I told you that one of my friends put it in there as a prank?"
"There was no friend. You did it yourself."
Stunned, I ask, "How did you know?"
He tilts his head. "I just figured."
"But... I thought you believed me. You said--"
"I didn't want to embarrass you. I knew you were mortified."
"And it didn't scare you off? Knowing that I'd done something like that? Knowing that I wanted you to be my boyfriend so badly I framed a picture of us?"
"Maybe it scared me for a split second," he admits.
THen he says, "Okay for a little longer than that, since we're being totally honest here. But then I realised I missed you. And that maybe I wanted you to be my girlfriend. And I still do. I still mean what I said about living together, Tracey."
"You still want to do it?"
He nods. "Do you?"
Yes.
I do.
But just to be safe, I say, "can I think about it for a few months?"
"Okay."
We smile at each other.
A lot can happen in a few months.
A lot just did.
As if to punctuate the realisation, the door buzzes.
-skips a lot of stuff cuz fingers pain-
the door buzzes again.
I smile, watching as Jack gently but firmly moves aside the other pictures--the ones of Raphael and Kate, and my work friends and my family. [yes there's a Raphael, who's terribly gay and sleeps around and wears leopard and zebra printed underwear]
He puts the picture of the two of us right in the center.
"There," he says. "How does that look?"
Like its wear it belongs, my heart tells me.
And this time.
I listen.
-end of extract.end of story.end of blog entry-
Slightly Settled is by Wendy Markham.
Oh yes. Happy Chinese New Year to myself. I hope cai yuan gun gun. Lotsa money please. Sorry to those who owe me money. Hope they don't have poor finance in the upcoming year.
Good health and wealth to everyone I know and love. To smokers, hopefully they can quit smoking.
To myself: Please get a grip on studies and manage your finances properly. Get a job, probably. GO and choose outfit for tomorrow and the next day's visiting. Don't eat so much, fat enough already. Don't expect Prince Charming anymore. Clear out the once dormant wardrobe, only exploding once in a while, which has now become active--exploding, with clothes as lava spilling out everywhere.
the angels they burn inside for us|11:08:00 PM|
+ + + + +
Sunday, February 6
\\*Chinese New Year Shopping Part II*//
It was an all girls day out. Mummy, my sisters and I went shopping.
Mummy gets a headache when she goes to crowded and squeezy places-- so do I; and my sisters hate Orchard Road cuz it feels intimidating to them. And so that leaves us the surburban malls-- CompassPoint got nothing, Junction 8 go till sianx, Northpoint also sianx, so my Mother suggested Causeway Point, which I cringed at initially. [I wouldve cringed at every surburban mall] But I accepted my fate by reassuring myself that I need not buy anything cuz I've already shopped.
But who can give up the chance of charging everything to someone else's account!?!?
We trooped to Causeway Point in a cab, where I msged Kelly to ask her whats in Causeway Point to further reduce cognitive dissonance and pre-shopping depression.
And so, the money spending began.
Today, mummy bought lotsa stuff. The total bill came up to around 700 plus.
Trooped to what store first? OP i think. Where I bought this brown shirt with pink words. And a white OP bag! So niceee.
cost SGD 23 nia. so nice right!! I hardly have any brown shirts.
Sisters bought some stuff too. I am so happy that my wardrobe can be expanded now, cuz whatever Claudia wears, I can wear too! She bought this really cool skirt! Reddish pink and hawaiian flowery and all, so nice!! But upon trying just now, machiam one size bigger =( nvm. Mommy spent $167 plus, and we were entitled to two beach towels! wonderful.
And I am so happy for Araxes because she finally chose a short skirt from OP. She should start choosing more shorter skirts.
Then we went to John Little, for the sake of my sisters. The queues were freaking long at the fitting rooms and cashiers. Luckily I have tons of patience. And I wanted to write feedback form for John Little cuz the service was like shit. The cashier was like taking her own sweet time trying to void something while the entire line of customers were waiting for her to finish her stuff which she did super slowly. Not even a single apology to the line of customers.
I chose a camisole like top and... a dunno what kinda top. Had silver Oriental designs all over it, and required a tube inside. The creative thing about this kind of tops are, you can either be decent and wear a decent piece of cloth inside, or be indecent and just wear a bikini top. So it's flexible for school or nights out.
this is the camisole like top which are so in fashion now. I like it's material although it can get super hot and sticky. SGD 36 I think.
this top so cool seh. the arms flare out at the wrists, and looks oh-so-professionally feminine yet sharp. can be transformed into clubbing gear. Sgd 36 i think.
Oh yes. And at John Little, Mum bought lotsa lingerie and I got a bra. She bought a couple of pants for herself and my sisters got their stuff. The bill came up to SGD 317.15.
because mummy bought so many Sabina and Triumph lingerie for us and herself, we got some free gifts. The lingerie attendant was really really sweet and let us have two free gifts. G strings. My ultimate fav. I chose a yellow one and Claudia chose a grey one. Mum asked Claudia, "you wear G strings meh?" Claudia said, "I just want the bag-- so nice," So I presume I'm getting the G string. AND that's my OP bag and the black bra I got.
I told Mum that I need a bigger size cuz I grow bigger already, but she still dont believe and say that I'm still so flat and later get bigger size the bra will have lotsa space to stuff chickens. -.-~
Then we went into Charles and Keith, where it was so freaking crowded and I somehow dnt really like their shoe designs. I dont have a single pair of Charles and Keith shoes. I saw a lady with four boxes of Charles and Keith stuff though.
I really must buy more shoes, in order to reach my target of 50 pairs by my birthday this year.
Then we went into The M Shop, where my mother commented that everything inside there looked like my type of clothes [besides E Base, whom friends like to call maxine's gypsy clothes] and I said thats why it's called The M Shop.
I got this
that is oh so cool cuz it can be worn like, off shoulder or just like a normal shirt, just by adjusting the strings behind! And it looks so simple and chic. SGD 24. GAHHHHHHH I just love stuff like this.
Group shot of some items bought today.
So total... mummy spent on me...
HAR $131.9!??!
I thought it was only 100. So much for my budgetting. Although I didn't spend the last 100 odd in Part II,but The CNY shopping for 2005 for Maxine Mikaeleia came up to around 200 plus. Okayy...at least my 100 dollars is only one seventh of her total expenditure. still can soothe my guilty conscience some. but not all!!
So sad. So guilty suddenly.
People like Alex can spend 0 dollars on shopping, why cant I?
My poor mother spent 700 today, and more to burn, cuz she still must give ang bao, while I slowly collect. Although I can possibly recoup back my 80 plus losses, it is so tragic that money is wasted like water flowing down a river.
BAH! What Crap.
I shall be optimistic like Mother, and say, "Nevermind lah, only once a year,"
Nevermind lah, only once a year.
*grins*
the angels they burn inside for us|11:41:00 PM|
\\**//
In order to welcome the upcoming Chinese New Year, I decided to give my nails a fresh coat of paint-- which they badly need.
I sat in front of the TV box -- one thing which I seldom do; and watched the movie on Channel 56-- The Tree or something, got Zoe Tay and the haunted tree.
Oh Yes. And I cut my hair today. My favourite hairdresser is not working at the salon anymore-- he went back to Malaysia to open his own business --so I had no choice but to ask his boss to cut for me =( He [guy who went back to msia] really can cut a good head of hair. Even Siew Ping was devastated.
Here's my new hair.
*rolls eyes*
Wrong one. This was tied by Claudia a few minutes ago. While I was manicuring and pedicuring my finger and toe nails, she yanked my head and newly cut hair into some kinky hairstyle.
Oh yes. I shall not try to explain how HOT today was. It was so DAMN freaking hot I felt like burrowing a hole and dying there in the cool cool mud. AND after drama practice I had to go down to parents' office to get translator mummy to go with me to interview old people for Azhar's ICA.
BUT I could find no old people although I did formulate some rough questions. What A Wasted Trip. I should've gone with eve and yiting to orchard instead. But nvm.
On this sweltering hot and humid day, my parents left office early and decided to go where? Far East Flora.
It is so FREAKING HOT THERE!! I got darker cuz when I removed my Guess? watch when i returned home, the skin was fairer there =(
AND my parents bought one bumch of pussywillow, a few pots of flowers, two small pots of rose bush, TWO HUGE pots of the orange lime plant AND one bunch of pink flowers dunno whats that called. ANYWAY. My dad insisted on putting everything in the car.
THe small pots can put in the boot, and my parents can sit in front comfortably. But ME?!?!?
I of course have to sit at the back-- usual position is stretched out across the entire seat-- but after Far East Flora, I was put in the middle of the two huge pots of orange lime plants.
my hair here is bunned up with a blunt 2B pencil because i was so FREAKING hot and stole a pencil from parents' office to do the rare deed of bunning hair, which, surprisingly, i succeeded at.
I felt like I was in a jungle. Leaves everywhere, and the citrus smell of LIME AND the branch of the pussywillow poking at me.
I was in a SUPER bad mood cuz I was HOT, IRRITATED, SWEATY and I do not like to squeeze with plants and micro organisms in the soil.
Back to happier topics. Crab I ate today! It was deliciously fantasticly uniquely superbly wonderfully cooked. Creamy butter and white pepper, heavily sprinkled with Nestle oats crab.
DAMN NICE!
Sweet, yet mildy pepperish, and crunchy!
I tried not to think about the stuff crabs eat while consuming the crab, like perhaps, dead bodies and pink serviettes.
Oh yes! Today was the first day I watched an entire episode of The Simple Life. I have never, in my entire life, watched The Simple Life although it is now season 2. Although I think Paris Hilton is very very pretty, and someone has commented that I look like her counterpart Nicole Richie [not that it's a compliment], I finally took the effort to watch TV tonight.
I laughed my newly cut hair head to the very very bimbo things they say. And when they squirted sausage everywhere in the factory. OMG so hilarious! And amazed at how quiet Paris was. My sister say she is a guai kia. Understatement of the century I should think.
But there was one part where the sausage factory workers asked if they wanted to put on aprons. I almost wondered if they had pink ones, cuz the girls would surely want pink ones. Actually, I wondered if they had pink ones.
And when they asked for pink ones I dunno why but it was just such a stupid question. I duunno, somehow I felt that most people around me feel the way the factory workers do because I can so identify with the facial expressions on the factory bosses' faces and match it to the facial expressions of my friends when I talk to them.
This is so not good. Am I just realising it now?
Anyway. I shall not brood over this bimbo topic because I am so getting a headache. I shall just admire my pretty nails.
Firstly, I will ignore the fact that I sound so bimbo.
Secondly, I did henna for Claudia as well as myself. I shall describe my toe nails in brief detail.
They are pearly white.
Thirdly, I will post a picture of my henna-ed hand and half painted nails. I will give a brief description of nail colour. It is bronzey and shimmery.
Fourthly, I shall please myself further by adding a hint of CNY tradition into my nails. I wanna feel and be lucky in the new year.
Ta da all is done and well.
the angels they burn inside for us|2:13:00 AM|
+ + + + +
Saturday, February 5
\\**//
I am SO PISSED with my father kae.
So I went with him to his church to see his Father this week. Cuz according to him, he only said 'The Father thinks the Evil Bible thing is very interesting and wants to take a look at it and also talk to you,"
So just to give face of course I go.
But the moment I was there, I was pushed into this room with like, THIRTY other teenagers and my father just said, "here's my daughter," and I had to immediately adjust to THIRTY pairs of eyes staring at me as I stepped forward into the fucking room and shake hands with the innocent pastor and introduce myself with a forced smile when I realised my father was leaving me IN THE ROOM BY MYSELF.
It didn't take me long to realise that IT WAS A YOUTH GROUP and they were in a course and ABOUT TO BE BAPTISED.
and I was in the fucking room with them.
And I was placed at the HEAD OF THE TABLE with the Father. So the thirty pairs of eyes still kept staring in my direction as the pastor spoke.
As I sat there, I realised that the seat was way too high and I was seemingly taller than the rest. Although the rest of the teenagers were around my age, I felt uncomfortable because all of them had known each other before this 'lesson'.
I kept my eyes downcast and frequently scanned the room for any familiar faces but I could see none.
I was fuming mad till the tears got clogged up in my eyes so I looked down at the table and tried to think about WHEN my beloved father ever did mention that he was going to chuck me in a huge room with THIRTY other teenagers to listen about how 'the hierarchy of the church is such that the archbishop...bla bla bla' and 'all of you, no matter how bad your times seem, no money, no friends...as long as you have the Love of God you will find happiness. For the Love of God will be your relationship to happiness as Roman Catholics".
WHEN!??!?!?
NEVER. My memory does not fail me so badly. As I sat there, I realised now how come my questions were hardly answered when I asked why did I need to go to the church.
"Why must I go to the church? Cant you give him the printed evilbible.com yourself?"
"just go lah, he wants to talk to you,"
MY FOOT he hardly spoke to me.
"Can I don't go?"
-silence-
I took it as just give face, as I thought it was just ME, my father AND the Father.
I was so angry. He TOTALLY embarrassed me can. I was carrying this really loud bag with sequinns and it was transparent. AND i was wearing this too-short-for-church skirt and a blouse that was cut too low.
Had I known I would have to be in front of church-goers I would definitely dress more decently.
Hell, no. what the bloody fuck I had to sit there for 40 minutes.
There was this guy and his sister who came in 20 minutes late and the Father introduced them as Jason Martin and Joanne Martin [i think] both from CJC. Anyway, the guy was a good looker and I noticed him whisper to his sister [i could lip read], "Who's that girl?"
ok fine at least I was outstanding enough for a cute guy's attention. But anyone who was dressed as ... _______ as me would've been the centre of attention IN A CHURCH.
And after that he kept doing the #1 flirt tip of all girlie magazines. Hold your flirt target's eye contact for at least 3 seconds.
But I was too angry to flirt back. Sometimes my eyes were fixed in his direction cuz he was sitting by the door and I SO wanted to GET OUT OF THERE, squeeze my ears shut to all the Godly talk.
And sometimes I would stone there, thinking of some way I could excuse myself politely but ANY way would render all the eyes on me and my not-so-appropriate outfit and I was so scared my bra would show somewhere. NOT in front of THIRTY pairs of eyes.
Although the only highlight of the entire THING was the cute guy Jason Martin, but I was so not into it. I was just thinking of the betrayal and how I was tricked into attending an RCIA Youth MEETING!!!!!!!!!!
I AM JUST SO FUCKING ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can he just lie to me like that?? I mean, if he wanted me to go to the youth group he can just ask me to go [to which I will say NO] and not lie and say the Father wants to discuss Evil Bible stuff [in which I am NOT an expert anyway].
So CUNNING. SLY. EVIL. BAD.
I will never ever think of doing that to my offspring. I swear. I will not force religion upon them.
Anyway, my chance came to leave when some people came to take photographs and I told the pastor, "I'm so sorry I have to go, I didn't even know I had to be here in the first place. I didn't even have an idea about this class. Maybe you should take this," and I passed him the folder of evilbible.com material. He asked me for my contact number.
I left immediately, passing Jason Martin.
I was so angry I could cry. I did cry. In the car, my dad still ask me to go next friday. I hardly spoke to him except yelling, "you didn't even tell me it's a [fucking] youth group! you said you wanted me to discuss the [fucking] evilbible.com with the FATHER!!!!!!!!!] *sulk* {bracketted words were the words that were on the brink of escaping my lips but thankfully I have good control of my tongue}
IF it were something like yoga, yes. Something boring, say literature reading, yes. Something idiotic, like opera singing, yes.
But something that consists religion? Something I totally do NOT believe in despite being schooled in a catholic PRIMARY school?
Something I was lied into attending?
FAT HOPE, I say.
I personally think the Father is a nice person. I hoped we could have a better meeting time when I wasnt so fake and awkward. I think the teenagers in that room were nice teenagers [although some of them have hypocrisy and i-am-a-girls-school-girl written all over their face] but sadly I only had the fate to embarass myself in front of them.
If I had stormed out of the room after 15 minutes, I would've stormed all the way to Bugis and lost my way cuz the church is in the midst of private houses and complicated small lanes.
I remember thinking it was such a blardy waste of my time when I am supposed to meet the girls soon. Although Dad sent me there I was still upset when I met them at the ticket booth and burst into tears upon arrival.
Luckily there were all so nice and girly and tissue was stuffed at me immediately.
Of course we had a great time. Soon I was laughing but the stupid blardy betrayal was still at the back of my head but I put an evil black cloth over it and enjoyed my food and friends to the fullest.
Although Letitia couldnt make it and there was one empty seat to remind me of the hollowness in my mind, at least Mama Huiyun could make it this time.
We tried to catch up on stuff but it was surreal. Like there was a transparent mask of ... untruth that was covering each and every one of our 'catch ups'. It all sounded so true but yet it was not like before. I mean, hello, how can it ever be like before when every recess was spent catching up.
Now its like every birthday or every special occasion, with many months and days and seconds in between. When anything and everything can happen to anyone of us and unless we update each other frequently, it's not gonna be the real case of being in each other's lives anymore.
Like Siewping and Guan Da, think he was kinda upset with her for making him wait for so long while we were having dinner. I was not impressed with his behaviour because HE spends more time with her than US. What right does he have to restrict her from spending just five more minutes with us?
Isn't it supposed to be gentlemanly to wait for the girl? Like, what the hell?
And I thought he was good for her.
When even waiting five or ten or even thirty minutes for the girlfriend is not even in the guy's calibre, I would say dont even wait. What's the poinnt of making everybody upset when she's just enjoying herself in the company of her long lost friends. Idiotic men.
Aaron Aziz lookalike or not. Men are all the same.
OH YES! I remember the Father saying something. About why priests can only be men and not women. 'Because God made it such that only men can take over the form of Jesus--for there are obvious differences between a man and a woman,'
Then why can't only women take over the form of Jesus if God had made Jesus into a woman's body in the first place?
He also said, "There's nothing about a priest that a woman cannot do-- afterall we just preach and go do charity work and pray, but the fact remains that this is God's will,"
Aren't women sacrificial as well? I though women were supposedly the hardworking, virtuous ones. The ones who bear the labour pains of child bearing. The ones who get their holes cut up in all places just for the birth of a child.
How ever can men compare with that?
the angels they burn inside for us|1:40:00 AM|
+ + + + +
Friday, February 4
\\*Future Boyfriend*//
Before I rush off to my church with dad and then to my dinner date with the 9 jie mei...our Reunion Dinner!!... I shall take some quickie time while dad's bathing to blog about the fOrtune teller Jasper and our brief encounter just now in Food Junction NYP.
I shall not blog about what he said to Kelly, for some of it may be defaming and not very good to publish here. But he said...
I will have a boyfriend in two years.
Good news:
He will look like Suria's Aaron Aziz!!!
No wonder they always say... good things must wait for a long long long time.
Point to ponder: I only know one person who looks vaguely like Aaron Aziz. And that is my poem publisher, Zul.
Somehow, although I really don't..heh... wanna doubt fortune teller's prediction, heh, but Zul does not seem to be a very likely candidate. Heh.
BUTOHMYGODCANANYBODYIMAGINEAARONAZIZ!!!!!
I can hardly wait.
the angels they burn inside for us|7:42:00 PM|
\\*Future Boyfriend*//
Before I rush off to my church with dad and then to my dinner date with the 9 jie mei...our Reunion Dinner!!... I shall take some quickie time while dad's bathing to blog about the fOrtune teller Jasper and our brief encounter just now in Food Junction NYP.
I shall not blog about what he said to Kelly, for some of it may be defaming and not very good to publish here. But he said...
I will have a boyfriend in two years.
Good news:
He will look like Suria's Aaron Aziz!!!
No wonder they always say... good things must wait for a long long long time.
Point to ponder: I only know one person who looks vaguely like Aaron Aziz. And that is my poem publisher, Zul.
Somehow, although I really don't..heh... wanna doubt fortune teller's prediction, heh, but Zul does not seem to be a very likely candidate. Heh.
BUTOHMYGODCANANYBODYIMAGINEAARONAZIZ!!!!!
I can hardly wait.
the angels they burn inside for us|7:42:00 PM|
\\*Future Boyfriend*//
Before I rush off to my church with dad and then to my dinner date with the 9 jie mei...our Reunion Dinner!!... I shall take some quickie time while dad's bathing to blog about the fOrtune teller Jasper and our brief encounter just now in Food Junction NYP.
I shall not blog about what he said to Kelly, for some of it may be defaming and not very good to publish here. But he said...
I will have a boyfriend in two years.
Good news:
He will look like Suria's Aaron Aziz!!!
No wonder they always say... good things must wait for a long long long time.
Point to ponder: I only know one person who looks vaguely like Aaron Aziz. And that is my poem publisher, Zul.
Somehow, although I really don't..heh... wanna doubt fortune teller's prediction, heh, but Zul does not seem to be a very likely candidate. Heh.
BUTOHMYGODCANANYBODYIMAGINEAARONAZIZ!!!!!
I can hardly wait.
the angels they burn inside for us|7:42:00 PM|
\\*Future Boyfriend*//
Before I rush off to my church with dad and then to my dinner date with the 9 jie mei...our Reunion Dinner!!... I shall take some quickie time while dad's bathing to blog about the fOrtune teller Jasper and our brief encounter just now in Food Junction NYP.
I shall not blog about what he said to Kelly, for some of it may be defaming and not very good to publish here. But he said...
I will have a boyfriend in two years.
Good news:
He will look like Suria's Aaron Aziz!!!
No wonder they always say... good things must wait for a long long long time.
Point to ponder: I only know one person who looks vaguely like Aaron Aziz. And that is my poem publisher, Zul.
Somehow, although I really don't..heh... wanna doubt fortune teller's prediction, heh, but Zul does not seem to be a very likely candidate. Heh.
BUTOHMYGODCANANYBODYIMAGINEAARONAZIZ!!!!!
I can hardly wait.
the angels they burn inside for us|7:42:00 PM|
\\*Blow Up Skirt*//
I am so damn lucky.
Once again, I am having another embarrass-myself-in-front-of-other-people-in NYP Day.
I was walking innocently with Eve and Yiting to school in the morning around 10 plus, along the corridor after the shopping arcade, towards Block B. I was wearing one of my longer skirts, the one with prints on it that looks so vintage.
That particular corridor always irks me, because everytime after I have finished preening my hair in the toilet and it is nicely set, I have to walk along that corridor and the gusts of wind will blow my hair all over my face again. That is why I seldom preen my hair and it looks like a tornado has hit my head everytime.
Anyway. This particular morning, I felt the wind blowing around my feet and before my knew it my skirt was threatening to be blown; Marilyn Monroe style. Somehow that sentence was so wrong. As in, my skirt was being threatened by the wind to be lifted.
But alas for anyone who wanted a good show, I still had my free hands and could hold it down.
But then I was once again walking along that corridor with Hazel and Kelly, and the stupid wind blew again. This time I had no free hands cuz I was holding my bag and some other thing in my other hand and
myskirtwaslifted
and Hazel was like helping me to hold the right side down while screaming, "AIYO Maxine I can see everything lor!! Blue and red!"
And Kelly immediately walk behind me and hold down the back of my skirt [which was so ticklish] quietly.
And I was trying with my arms to hold down the front-- cuz there were obviously people walking towards me -- ONE OF THEM A CUTE GUY!!!
And he was like looking at me in the entire process of the skirt flying issue. iamjustsoembarrassedihavenothingtosay and I probably cannoteverlookathimagain because I will be reminded that he saw my skirt fly up and probably alot more stuff. =(
After that I held my skirt down whenever walking along that corridor. This incident somehow reminds me of the time when my skirt dropped on the escalator from the Atrium to Block A. I feel so lucky that both times I have girlfriends with me who have very quick reactions.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:44:00 AM|
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Thursday, February 3
\\*Budget Shopping Trip for Chinese New Year Clothes and Shoes and Bags[for ang bao]*//
I am back from my Chinese New Year Shopping Trip Part I.
It is with Agnes, my lesbianic partner, at Bugis.
It is, as the title suggests, a Budget Budget Budget Budget Trip for our money-taking adventure in the next week. Where else to find budget stuff that is fashionable and and cheapo cheap cheap??
Bugis Street.
Although Agnes and I trooped around Edge and Ebase and other shops in Parco Bugis, certainly we weren't satisfied with the stuff they had to offer. I was so friggy disappointed with the new seaon of Ebase stock. Comes in pale-ish yellow and greens and purples, machiam table cloths and clothes that mental people would wear. I pity the salesgirls this season. BUT I am still a loyal Ebase fan.
This is only the Part I because my parents have not bought any stuff for my sisters whose clothes are hanging in their half empty closets. I am sure I will go on that shopping trip as well which will not be so budget so I can so very casually and ethnically put my piece of apparel onto the cashier counter and it shall be zapped into American Express's account. That will be Part II.
Or: Daddy will drag me to some shop and make me try out skirts and tops which he made me do last Sunday at Mango and Ozoc but didn't purchase anything cuz I was in no mood to buy stuff then. Looking back... I truly regret. I should've bought that pair of PANTS!!! that deliciously fantastic corduroy JACKET!!!
OKAY!!!
Enough of blubbering and tottering and regretting around. I am JUST SOOOO excitedly eager to PUT MY CLOTHES HERE FOR PLEASANT VIEWING UNTIL I WEAR THEM!!!
*House music comes on and clothes strut on blog for live showcase*
presenting...
O1! [Outfit One]
Emcee: Dark green cut off sleeves graffiti top! Orange faded-in-some-spots mini skirt! Hot pink rattan bag made in Vietnam! Black and pink ribboned heels that are oh-so-sweet!
thank you. NEXT!
O2! [Outfit Two]
Emcee: er... apparently, there has been a wardrobe malfunction sadlynobreasts and the only NEW apparel is a shimmy milky white lightly sequinned top!
and now for a close up of all apparel for the day.
Pretty pink and black ribboned open toed darlings with one-inch heels from a small shop in Bugis Street! Cost: SGD 32 SGD 28!
Hot hot pink bag sewn by Vietnam girls [not slaves, hopefully] from Singapore Chinatown! New owner Maxine Mikaeleia swears that if one stick of rattan drops she's gonna charge back into aunty-infested Chinatown to claim her money back guarantee. SGD 16 SGD 14
Newly prepaid cheapo China necklace! Actually, owner Maxine Mikaeleia had a gold one, but the center piece dropped off and she went to get her moneyback guarantee from Bugis but instead exchanged for this pretty cross thingy with pink and blue 'crystals'. SGD 8.50, PREPAID.
Won't all of the world just sit and stare and admire those lovely faded thangies down the skirt thighs? The uniquely bright yet natural colour tone of this flirtatious mini? SGD 26.90 SGD 24.
unique. looks like a Roxy top Miss MM wanted to get one year ago at SurfBabe. Sales girl showed her how to pull the many strings on the top to scrunch here and scrunch there. Pull one string, sleeve is scrunched and shortened. Pull another string, waistline is hoisted and scrunched. COOL! Bought without a moment's hesitation. SGD 23.90 SGD 20
Camisoles are the IN thing now. Miss MM always wanted a pink and black camisole to wear under blazer or with jeans, which she saw today. However, fate did not allow her to have it because there was no fitting room and nuh-uh aint no risks for Miss MM. This white shimmery soft and seductive white material is a come-hither in disguise. Kind emcee has an intricate eye for detail, here goes.
ZOOM in to the detailed bosom area and above where lace has overtaken the straps and bust bodice, tiny sequins line the neckline and three big plastic jewels glimmer as they catch the light. In this case, no. It just appears cheap. BUT IT ISNT! It is sophisticately glamorous.
Thank you Emcee. Miss MM, who is me the one typing, has decided something as of 3rd February 1:o8 am. Although I am so budgetted and only spent about how much?-- i withdrew 80 dollars because 8 is auspicious number and so expected myself to overspend and so since no one bothers with calculations these days except for boring accountants I estimate my expenditure on apparel to be SGD 84-- I have decided not to wear my new tops for the 1st day of New year.
Reason being, Lecturer VC said MUST wear red on 1st day! So I shall wear a mini skirt as my top.
This is NO ORDINARY mini skirt. It is a CUT mini skirt. Not cut by me, it was cut by a sewing machine. Brief history of red mini skirt: Belonged to my mother, Mrs M as well. It began its simple life as a knee length skirt, but then Mrs M couldnt fit into it anymore, so it was given to Miss MM. ME.
I do not like knee length office skirts. So I sent it to a family friend who is a tailor, and she helped me cut the skirt into half. By right, the skirt should end mid thigh or somewhere around there. However, she cut it into half correctly, but proceeded to fold one inch into the hem! Thus, rendering the cut skirt ineffective in it's task -- to cover my butt.
In order not to waste the material that was passed down from generation to generation, the ingenius Mrs M said, use it as a tube then. Lo and behold, it could cover her miniscule boobies!
Therefore, for Chinese New Year in 2005, I shall wear my redtubethatwasactuallyaskirt and ... I dont know. Red dont go well with the orange skirt I just bought. Maybe some black longer skirt or else I'll look like a tart.
this skirt is also relatively new to me, because it belonged to Mrs M as well. Same as red skirtthathasnowbecomeatube, brown skirt was a knee length skirt that was cut, but this time wearable to school and any place without hookers/stripteasers/whores/poledancers/and whatnot.
While taking the picture of brown skirt, I realised it looks kinda plain and unappealing, so I decided to see what pattern was at the back.
I realised there was a tag and it said BUM! There was Bum Equipment in those days meh?
Anyway. That is all. I love my shoes the most although i know it will be painful when I wear it. Already it cut into my flesh at the store while trying it on. Vanity rules over logic. The shoes will expand.
Also, Chinatown is not as aunty-infested as I imagined it to be. Fishmongers were not as perverted and disgusting as I thought them to be [although i witnessed a LIVE hammering of a big fish's head and watched as it gasped to death in utter pain and torture! Sadist: Singaporean fishmonger in Chinatown market] instead they were seriously funny and cute.
Lastly, my wardrobe is still infested with old clothes.
the angels they burn inside for us|1:08:00 AM|
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Tuesday, February 1
\\**//
With reference to my previous blog, I realise with much regret that I've left out other favourite accquaintances and not-so-close friends who've also, made me feel in some way happy with simple gestures of friendship.
Remuz-- Knew him in Chung Cheng Main. I don't know, I just ... feel that he's a good friend although he's like, 2 years my senior and I remember the 1st time where we met each other was in Parkway Parade MPH and he was in this western suit! Made me and my jie mei men-r laugh. Forgot why exactly we met up too...I think he graduated already at that time and just wanted to meet up. He always gave me some kinda fun advice and was very patient with my at that time relationship problems. Lost contact because my ex didn't like me to sms other guys. =( regained some form of contact now that he's in NS and i'm free, and he even bothered to wish me happy birthday last year =D
Kevin-- Met him while working in the Garlic Restaurant, was one of my customers. Went out with him a couple of times and although he admitted to his crush in a very matured manner [not the usual "I wanna ask you something. If, what if I say I like you?", but in a direct, matured and totally...cool way], as time grew on we both sorta, grew away from each other but I've learnt alot of stuff from him. Although there was a 7 year age difference, honestly we both admitted that it wasn't felt. I learnt how to adapt to a mature guy's way of thinking, had fun while he drew a face portrait of me for 5 hours straight...basically he's damn nice. Can get free handphone batteries too cuz he work in Singtel sales wahahaha. =X
Li'En-- OMG. He's still my best kor ever. Last time in sec school damn immature, always have those kor-jie-di-mei relationships. I had 30 plus of kor and jie each but seldom any di and mei cuz obviously i was one of the youngest in my batch and only had to rely on the seniors to play such games. Out of all of them, Li'en was undoubtly the best one in terms of advice giving, the listening ear, the mature outlook and lame jokes... We used to spend nights chatting away on the phone till the wee hours of the morning. I remember lying on my bed in the dark talking to him. Over the months, I suddenly realised that I had absolutely no feelings apart from platonic for him. I loved that feeling-- being young and all-- to be able to talk to a guy without ever falling or crushing for and on him. I think he has a nice smile.
Zul-- I have to admit that the was one of the eye-catching guys [aaron aziz] during the NYP orientation but the first impression he gave me wasn't a good one. Cuz he sorta, diao-ed Val and me during the Jam and Hop? But then during the StageArts orientation he was like all friendly and stuff, and we started chatting on MSN. He was always nice but not overly-friendly, which was cool. I loved having my advice appreciated by at least one person in this entire world and I have to credit him for making me feel like a real psychologist altho Syaz would beg to differ. "psycho, more likely," I can hear him saying. Although we will hardly hang out together ever, but he is one of those who has touched my life by opening another channel to find out another part of me that I didn't even realise-- the giving advice part.
Eric & Dion-- I knew these guys at the Garlic restaurant as well. Yvonne's customers, and she introduced me to a whole group of St Pat's guys. Anyway my experience with these 2 people is mostly how a guy can change his mind so easily when it comes to relationships, and be as fickle as girls when it comes to making decisions. The period of time spent with them is one of a roller coaster, where I had to give advice to Eric and yet feel that I needed more advice than anybody else cuz of Dion. Lots of feelings were involved but at least I learnt something... never ever trust a guy whole heartedly. No matter what he says. BUT Eric is a DAMN trustworthy person. He's the one whom I lent some hundreds to within a short span of a week of knowing him and he immediately returned it to me as soon as he got the dough. I really respect such people. I respect their parents too. As friend, Eric can be really matured but super super lame and unpredictable at times. Behind his smile really is a thousand sorrows.
Isk and Fahmy-- Knew them last year at the NYP Open House. Very nice people although they lied to me and Pam about not knowing each other before the open house, when actually they're cousins. -.-~ Love the way Isk teaches me about psychology, how he studies body language, how people assess people within 5 seconds of the first meeting. Admire him for his self-taught psychology since young. A good boyish looking guy who knows he's got it. Fahmy ... is more mellow and gives me a very gentlemanly impression. When we went to Sentosa to hang out, they were very willing to teach us ignorant fools about general stuff. Their power of general knowledge is relatively high. Yay we're going clubbing soon.
I really cannot afford to put every single person I know in my life here but just the ones who've helped me in some way.
I shall help myself motivate myself by looking at pictures of my messy cupboard, in the hope that I will have some courage to throw some pieces out before the new year.
=(
Zoom in please.
skirt compartment stuffed like some oversized dumpling. hangers no space. =(
dresses and pants and jeans and jackets squashed together like kiam chai. =(
I shall now live through the closet mess and tell a seemingly long story.
Once upon a time, there was a boy who was older by a year than a girl. According to him, he 'noticed' her immediately just by looking at her photo, which, was on a profile of the cca she'd joined. She was 13 he was 14.
He was always around her and she'd catch glances of him looking at her during cca. By some not-so-coincidental tactics [which I'd forgotten pardon my bad storytelling], he'd got her number and not a day would pass without at least one sms from him.
Although she was aware of his so-called feelings for her, she passed it off as crushing and besides, he was still so young. As in. Young for her.
He watched her through boyfriend number 1, during which he did not give up his SMSing and calls.
Then boyfriend number 2, where he sorta lost interest or something, and went for her friends. At this point sometime later, he clarified that he didn't really like them in the end. Girl is confused but still does not acknowledge as anything more than a friend altho she appreciated his somewhat timely advice sometimes.
He gave her a huge box of paper cranes which he'd painstakingly folded 512 of them. Along with a card. She remembered him asking her what do girls like as presents cuz he wanted to give some present to his new crush "Angeline" or something. She remembered feeling happy for him. But some fine sunny day, he waited for her 3 or 4 hours downstairs her house with the entire huge box with 2 forever friends bears. It was so damn sweet.
He watched her through boyfriend number 3, all through almost 2 years. By this time they'd lost almost all contact because -- boyfriend number 3 had issues that had to be settled.
By the time they met again she was single. She thought everything had blown over with him but he still asked her for one more chance, the chance to prove that despite all these years he could never be wrong about his feelings.
To which she turned him down again.
After which they kept minimal contact through periodical SMS and MSN chats. It should be over by now. It will be.
The End.
*credits roll*
Girl-- Me, lah.
Boy-- my good accquaintance who should be in the list above but decided that I should tell our long and interesting story.
Boyfriend 1-- Jude Law
Boyfriend 2-- Jeremy Sumpter [[Peter Pan]]
Boyfriend 3-- Jay-Z
Director's speech:
I just wanna say... this film should be very emotional and yet a learning experience for most teens, especially myself. I've definitely grown alot while starring in this film which took 5 years to finish filming, because it was hard to capture most of the actors and actresses' expressions... As the lead role in this film, I feel that somehow, Boy will teach Girl invaluable lessons in real and reel life, because of the way they communicate, sometimes throughout the entire journey only one lesson will be learnt-- and that is my film angle, for the audience to judge what will the lesson be in the end. For me, Boy was a very good co-actor and we were not romantically involved in the entire show, despite many rumours in the paparazzi. Even though there were some scenes whereby we had to be embarrassed for the camera, we got over it personally and didn't bear any grudges. Boy will be a friend I will keep always, one I've known through this show, one who guided me along in my most important journey in life, and although he doesnt know it -- but he will, now that I've given this press conference -- I will always cherish him as my co-actor and friend.
the angels they burn inside for us|10:49:00 PM|
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